Jewish World Review Dec. 2, 2010 / 25 Kislev, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Hillary Clinton was revealed by WikiLeaks Monday to have told State Department employees to spy on U.N. delegates. Liberals are after her scalp. This scandal could kill Hillary's future and end the Clinton dream of someday being a two-impeachment family.
Saudi Arabia King Abdullah asked for U.S. action on Iran in cables outed by WikiLeaks Monday. He urged Americans to cut off the head of the snake. Before the king's surgery in New York Tuesday he made sure the surgeon clearly understood he was talking about Iran.
DEA agents found a railed drug tunnel from Tijuana to San Diego Friday. It contained a rail car loaded with tons of marijuana. California just offered to allow Willie Nelson to work off his community service sentence by unloading the rail car when he plays San Diego.
Hillary Clinton flew overseas Tuesday to repair U.S. relations with other nations after the WikiLeaks revelations. Her touch is legendary. When Hillary was a practicing lawyer in Arkansas she once got a client's parking ticket reduced to second-degree manslaughter.
WikiLeaks revealed Monday that the U.S. was weighing transferring terror suspects from Guantanamo to Illinois State Prison. They'd like it there. Illinois has the cleanest and best-run prisons in the world because Illinois politicians believe in taking care of their own.
The U.S. Senate passed a bill Tuesday giving the FDA more power to recall produce and meat and eggs. Salmonella builds up resistance. It infuriates the Russians that their spies can't poison our spies without our spies asking the waiter for a second helping.
President Obama decided to briefly delay his vacation Monday to work with Congress. He just traveled to India, Indonesia, South Korea, Japan, then over to Portugal then back out to Hawaii. He thinks he can mystify the Red States by proving the world is round.
President Obama received a report from the Pentagon advising an end to the ban on gays Monday. Is that all they had for him? Is it asking too much for the Joint Chiefs to nominate him for the Purple Lip for the wounds he suffered while defending his basket?
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton