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Jewish World Review
Dec. 23, 2008
/ 26 Kislev 5769
Markets Crash on Pictures of Obama Losing Shirt
By
Andy Borowitz
Shirtless president-elect creates crisis of confidence
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Global markets swooned today in reaction to photos showing that President-elect
Barack Obama had lost his shirt.
The pictures depicting a shirtless Mr. Obama wandering about on a deserted stretch
of beach stoked fears that the U.S.'s financial woes were deeper than previously
reported.
"We have had a steady drumbeat of bad news about the U.S. economy for weeks now,"
said Tracy Klugian, global asset analyst for HSBC. "Learning that the
President-elect no long has a shirt to his name was the last thing these markets
needed."
In an attempt to calm investors. Obama press secretary Robert Gibbs said that the
President-elect still owned a shirt and denied rumors that Mr.Obama had invested
funds with Bernie Madoff.