Jewish World Review Dec 7, 2007 / 27 Kislev 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
World Series of Poker three-time champion Chip Reese died Wednesday in his Las Vegas home at the age of fifty-six. He was one of the greatest bluffers in history. It was three days before anyone would believe he was really dead.
The Writers Guild stayed on strike this week, still thinking they can get revenue from movies on the Internet. The Internet gives everything to everybody absolutely free. For the first time, people are starting to believe it was invented by a Democrat.
USA Today said fifty college football coaches now make annual salaries of over one million dollars. Oklahoma's Bob Stoops tops the list at three million six hundred thousand a year. You have to keep up appearances when all your neighbors are in the oil business.
Barry Bonds will appear in federal court Friday to answer perjury charges, even though he's still negotiating to hire a lead attorney. He's reportedly appalled by the huge size of legal fees. Now he knows how pitchers felt for the last ten years.
The NBA began putting microphones on coaches during televised games and placing robotic cameras inside locker rooms Wednesday. Everything the players say will be overheard. The players with Muslim names have been putting up with this for six years.
Hillary Clinton demanded on Wednesday that Wall Street financiers voluntarily agree to give homeowners a break from higher payments on adjustable rate mortgages. The senator hinted at coercive legislation if the capitalists don't comply. Hugo Chavez complimented her on the proposal but warned her not to put it to a public vote.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton