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This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets) February 7, 2012 Kathleen Hennessey and Christi Parsons: Obama not worried that birth-control move will hurt his re-election chances with Catholics, other faithful Caroline B. Glick: Obama's rhetorical storm Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design David Francis: How to Avoid an IRS Audit The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: These homemade energy bars (3 recipes) are far better workout fuel than commercial ones, packing power and taste February 6, 2012 Scott Peterson: Iran's top ayatollah: We're trumping the West Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland' Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good Philip Moeller: Where Smart Investors Put Their Money Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard? The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: Vegetable Frittata --- leftovers never tasted so scrumptious February 3, 2012 Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Living with ideals --- in reality Caroline B. Glick: Fool me twice Jonathan Tobin : Adelsonphobia Strikes in Nevada Caucus Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US Kimberly Palmer : 8 Ways to Get Ready for Retirement Now Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: A quick cookie recipe: Hazelnut and Olive Oil Shortbread: Sweet, Nutty, and Savory February 2, 2012 Rabbi Yaakov Rosenblatt : Welcome Home, Governor Perry Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran Kelsey Sheehy : 5 Tips for Choosing an M.B.A. Concentration Rachel Koning Beals : Investors Increasingly Tap Social Media for Stock Tips Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Savory vegetable pie is a taste of European bistro with minimal effort and maximal flavor February 1, 2012 Nara Schoenberg: What to do when you've been dissed Michelle Malkin: First, They Came for the Catholics Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran Lisa M. Krieger: Possible breakthrough in preventing Alzheimer's Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures Susan Johnston: 5 Apps for Organizing Your Expenses at Tax Time The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The famed chef's Broccoli and White Bean Soup can easily be a lunch in itself, or a nice antipasto --- and is hard to mess up January 31, 2012 Paul Greenberg: Separation of Church and State works two ways Caroline B. Glick: Hamas and the Washington establishment Frank J. 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May: How terrorists lose their stigma Suzanne Bohan: Vanquishing social anxieties without drugs Lisa Fernandez and Sean Webby: In alternative lifestyle, domestic violence means men as victims and women being abusers Danielle Kurtzleben: The 10 Best Cities for Finding a Job The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Three bean soup with gremolata January 18, 2012 Edward I. Koch: Why the Crocodile Tears, Hillary? David G. Savage: Supreme Court to Principals: You have been warned George Friedman of Stratfor: Iran, the U.S. and the Strait of Hormuz Crisis Jason Koebler: 'Holy Grail' of Flu Vaccines by Next Year Alex M. Parker: The Off-the-Radar Congressional Targets of 2012 The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Got soft apples? Make Apple-Maple Walnut Breakfast Quinoa January 17, 2012 Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Believe it or not, your cuppa joe offers potential health perks David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors Confronting the Car Nerds on their home turf --- the Detroit Auto Show (VIDEO; 3 minutes) The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: Eleventh-Hour Freezer Pasta, Made Interesting: Ravioli with romesco sauce; Tortellini salad with apples and walnuts January 13, 2012 Chief Rabbi Dr. Warren Goldstein: Expansion Of Spirit (PROFOUND yet UPLIFTING) Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time Rachel Koning Beals:Top Complaints About Daily Deal Sites --- how to avoid missteps Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Braised Oxtail Stew with Olives January 12, 2012 Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony Ken Dilanian and David S. Cloud: In secret study, CIA and 15 other U.S. intelligence agencies warn Obama against leaving Afghanistan too soon John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree Menachem Wecker : 4 Technology Must Haves for Online Students The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream January 11, 2012 Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules Rachel Koning Beals: Should You Invest in Bond Funds or Individual Issues? 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Glick: The land-for-peace hoax (MUST-READ/FORWARD/SHARE) Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court Bonnie Miller Rubin: The new college-admission essay: Short and tweet(ish) Rachel Koning Beals: Why Mid-Caps Stand Out in This Slow-Growth Stretch The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Cumin seed roasted cauliflower with salted yogurt, mint and pomegranate seeds January 6, 2012 Jonathan Rosenblum: Greatness --- and those who sully it Clifford D. May: The Historian, the Diplomat, and the Spy Paul Bedard: Study: Obama Is Late Night's Biggest Joke Rachel Koning Beals: An Investing Guide to Closed-End Funds The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Durand: Slow Cooker Peppered Beef Shank in Red Wine

Jewish World Review Dec 13, 2007 / 4 Teves, 5768 Going (to lunch) once, going twice… By Malcolm Fleschner http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I remember being amused to discover that, during his marriage to Britney Spears, Kevin Federline's only personal source of income came from the $20,000 "celebrity" appearance fees he regularly charged for attending private parties. "I wonder how much you have to pay him not to come?" I recall thinking, before chuckling softly at my own cleverness. These fees amount to mere chump change for K-Fed now, however - in the divorce settlement the former Mr. Spears reportedly received a lump sum payment of at least $1 million. Armed with this information - and a calculator - we can now conclusively determine that having Kevin Federline come into your life is worth exactly 1/50th what it costs to make him go away. It turns out that celebrities charging party appearance fees is a common practice, with fees ranging from the hundreds of thousands demanded by A-listers like Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent to a few thousand dollars for mostly-forgotten sitcom actors of the '70s like Anson Williams, the guy who played Potsie on Happy Days. I know what you're thinking - all this time Potsie's been raking it in while you and I have been attending parties for free like a bunch of suckers! Sadly, since the demand at most functions for non-famous attendees is pretty low, we regular folk must remain in the dark concerning our worth on the open market. Oh sure, friends and relatives may value you for your kindness and generosity, but such qualities don't easily translate into hard dollar amounts. You can't exactly fill your tank with gas and say to the attendant, "Well, I don't have any money, but I always remember people's birthdays, and last year when my neighbor was in the hospital with diverticulitis, I walked his Pekingese, 'Yum Yum,' every day." These thoughts on the subject of personal worth occurred to me recently while attending a fundraising auction to benefit my son's preschool. Listed among the items up for bid, including various weekend getaways, goody baskets and (this is true) a self-portrait painted by an elephant, was a lunch date with a former star player for the San Francisco 49ers. While the value of this item had been pegged at $500, I learned that last year, fevered bidding for the same lunch date had driven the final price up to $5,000. "Wow," I commented to another parent nearby. "He must be an even better conversationalist than he was a football player." Much as I felt the $5,000 was going toward a worthy cause, I couldn't help but worry about the expectations such a high price placed on the former 49er to deliver a great dining experience. When someone pays $5,000 to eat with you, you can't exactly spend the whole meal absent-mindedly checking voicemail and looking at your watch. If I shelled out five grand for a meal with a star athlete, I'd expect him to arrive with, at a minimum, a trunkful of top-of-the-line autographed memorabilia, some insider tips to help me win my fantasy football pool and, in case the need ever arises, a spare kidney. On the other hand, I thought, what if the high bidder turned out to be one of those blowhard sports fans who only attend sporting events to jeer at the players? That would make for an uncomfortable lunch, to say the least. Former 49er: (to the waiter) "I'll have a cheeseburger please, medium rare." High bidder; (shouting) "That order stinks, you jerk, and so do you!" Former 49: "And a glass of iced tea, please." High Bidder: (standing up) "Boooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" These concerns notwithstanding, I couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement of the auction, and cornered the school's director to express my availability for next year's event. "You want to offer a lunch?" she asked, a little taken aback. "With you? That people would pay actual money for?" "Of course not," I reassured her. I'm fully aware that "Eat lunch with a local humorist" sounds a lot like the punishment an unorthodox judge would hand down in an effort to "scare straight" a particularly troublesome repeat offender. Instead, I explained, I was offering my services as a stand-in for the high bidder at an unpleasant or dreaded lunch date he or she would just as soon skip. The event in question wouldn't even have to be lunch - it could be dinner with the in-laws, an IRS audit, anger management class, a performance review with the boss, court-ordered drug test - pretty much any appointment someone would pay to get out of. No doubt with images of looming parent meetings dancing in her head, the director agreed to think about it. "If it sweetens the deal at all," I added, "for a few dollars more I bet I could even get Potsie from Happy Days to come with me." Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here. Previously: 11/28/07: Out with the old 11/06/07: My latest pet project 11/06/07: Can't tune it out 10/23/07: Something special in the hair 09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please? 09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem 08/21/07: In the heat of fashion 08/09/07: Let's get in the game 06/13/07: You gonna eat that? 05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment 05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy... 04/18/07: No time like Father Time 03/15/07: Deface the Nation 03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have 02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore 12/05/06: Who's calling the shots? 11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level 10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair 10/18/06: You can't tech it with you 10/04/06: Award to the wise 08/24/06: Phrased and Confused 08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99 07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain 05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again? 05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script 04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies 03/16/06: The day the Muzak died 02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home 02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning © 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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