Jewish World Review Dec. 29, 2006 / 8 Teves, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Saddam Hussein wrote a farewell letter to the Iraqi people Tuesday before he faces the hangman's noose. The letter reveals his criminal soul. He hopes to have a hang time long enough to come back in his next life as the Oakland Raiders punter.
Jerry Ford was remembered Tuesday as a moderate and reasonable president. He pardoned Nixon, established detente, forgave draft dodgers and ended Vietnam. His presidency was like a three-minute commercial break during a Dr. Strangelove marathon.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had surgery Tuesday on the leg he broke at Sun Valley. He was standing still when his pole got twisted in his ski, causing him to trip and fall. Of all the tributes to Jerry Ford, this was the most heartfelt.
John Edwards announced his candidacy Thursday for the Democratic presidential nomination. It's the second time he has run. The desire to be president is a siren's call, and no one responds to a siren faster than a personal injury attorney.
New York Governor George Pataki refused to pardon anyone on Christmas Day. It's the third time he has shown no mercy. Never commit a crime in a state where the governor is running for president and hopes to do well in the South Carolina primary.
The FBI announced Wednesday that the Los Angeles murder rate fell for the fifth straight year. However, suicides are up. People are so distracted when they're driving, they point their cellphones out the window and shoot themselves in the head.
Dr. Henry Kissinger told reporters last week that he has been advising President Bush about his next move in Iraq. The old diplomat just keeps getting better and better. Henry Kissinger is like fine wine, about twelve and a half percent alcohol.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2006, Argus Hamilton