Jewish World Review Dec. 13, 2006 / 22 Kislev, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Illinois Senator Barack Obama made a cameo appearance at the start of the Monday Night Football telecast to spoof his presidential ambitions. Now he has no choice but to run. It has been twenty years since anyone from Chicago could pass.
The House Ethics Committee held no one accountable Friday for the Mark Foley e-mails. The voters did. Denny Hastert went from an office with a view of the Lincoln Memorial to a location so far underground that Dick Cheney's his next-door neighbor.
David Duke told a Holocaust seminar in Iran Monday that Israel was using its own Holocaust to try to perpetrate one on Iran. He had to be there. Iran has its annual white sales in December and David Duke saves money on sheets wherever he can.
Hillary Clinton said Monday she will wait until after the first of the year before deciding if she'll run for president. She wants to time the announcement very carefully. She always gets the most sympathy from the American people around Valentine's Day.
NASA released photos of Mars that show signs of past water runoff perhaps one hundred years ago. Scientists say they won't stop looking until they find out where that water went. Los Angeles is starting to wonder if it can ever get away with anything.
Andy Dick apologized for leaping onstage in Hollywood and using the same racial slur Michael Richards used. This'll work out. Michael Richards could pay off the hecklers with all the money he gets from Andy Dick for stealing his act.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton