Jewish World Review Dec. 20, 2005 / 19 Kislev, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Time magazine named Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono its
Persons of the Year Sunday. The editors praised the three people
for their charity and mercy and hope and for doing good wherever
they go. This is why people read the National Enquirer.
Minnesota Vikings player Daunte Culpepper was charged with
lascivious conduct with lap dancers during a team cruise last
fall. Nobody's paying attention. Everybody who heard the details
simply assumed that team cruise is Tom's heterosexual brother.
Senator Hillary Clinton flew to New Orleans Sunday to
witness all the damage done by Hurricane Katrina. You should have
seen her eyes light up. Nothing puts Democrats in the mood for
Santa Claus like a gigantic federal spending project.
The United States, it was reported Sunday, ran a secret prison in Afghanistan. Prisoners were deprived of sleep, chained to walls and forced to listen to loud music in total darkness. It's only considered torture if you don't enjoy rave parties.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton