Jewish World Review Dec. 15, 2005 / 14 Kislev, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
King Kong drew rave reviews during its opening week.
Everyone says the movie makes grown men cry. It was highly
manipulative to have the ape hurl a truckload of Budweiser all the
way to Connecticut and destroy the ESPN broadcast headquarters.
Senator Hillary Clinton caused Democrats to pull their hair
out Monday as she refused to either support or oppose the
president's war policy. She's seeking a third way in Iraq, and for
good reason. Looking the other way has gotten her this far.
The New York Yacht Show next week will display five boats
used in James Bond movies. They were used for chase scenes and
casual sex. There are speedboats with rocket launchers, underwater
craft, jet boats, mini subs, and Bill Clinton's dinghy.
Prince William put on a hard hat Monday and rappelled down a
two-hundred-foot rock face, guiding a stretcher to safety. He was
doing this for his family. The next time his brother drives his
car off the road they won't have to call the police.
Saddam Hussein's trial was put on hold for one week while
U.S. security forces protect the Iraqi election. The good news for
Saddam Hussein is, he's getting a fair trial. The bad news is if
he gets convicted the appeal will go to Sacramento.
Washington D.C. police arrested congressional press
secretary Tom Springer for robbing banks Friday. He worked for
members of Congress for years and now he's charged in seven bank
robberies. It's what happens when you fall in with bad company.
The Weather Channel reports an earthquake hit the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan Monday. The seven-point temblor shook the mountains hard. With any luck, in ten million years Osama bin Laden will be three-quarters of a barrel of oil.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton