Jewish World Review Dec. 13, 2005 / 12 Kislev, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
U.S. air marshals shot and killed a guy at Miami Airport for
acting crazy. It's had an effect. Every NFL player who scored a
touchdown Sunday quietly handed the ball to the referee and walked
back to the sideline with his hands over his head.
USC's Reggie Bush was given the Heisman Trophy Saturday in a
ceremony in New York. You can tell we're approaching an election
year. The Democrats just hired a genealogist to see if Reggie Bush
is related to the president's family by slavery.
Merriam-Webster said Friday the most looked-up word on its
web site last year was integrity. The word drew millions of hits.
Congressmen were determined to find a definition of integrity that
included what they were doing to Indian casinos.
International Atomic Energy Agency head Mohamed ElBaradei
was presented the Nobel Peace Prize Saturday. He's the world's
chief nuclear weapons inspector. Under his watchful eye, everybody
now has nuclear weapons except the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Bill Clinton chided the White House Friday for discounting
the global damage done by greenhouse gases. His presidency isn't
blameless. How much hog waste was released into the atmosphere
every time he took the witness stand in his own defense?
Los Angeles gang members threatened Thursday to riot if
Crips founder Tookie Williams is executed for murder today.
Democrats point out he's been a force for good. Who do you think
taught Los Angeles schoolchildren the metric system?
Supermodel Kate Moss appeared in a commercial Friday just three months after she was photographed snorting cocaine. No one's surprised she was doing it. The drug makes women so skinny that Michael Jackson frequently hits on them by mistake.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton