Jewish World Review Dec. 5, 2005 / 4 Kislev, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Oprah Winfrey appeared on Dave Letterman's show Thursday.
She courageously sat down next to a comedian who's been making fun
of her for sixteen years. It may not seem like much now but in
fifty years she'll be lying in honor at the U.S. Capitol.
The TSA changed its rules Friday to allow nail clippers and
screwdrivers on airline flights. It's part of the pilots' new
contract. They have to take a big pay cut but they do get in-
flight manicures and all the screwdrivers they can drink.
Barry Bonds agreed Wednesday to play for the USA team in the
inaugural World Baseball Classic in San Diego in March. He wants
to put an end to all the steroid talk. His goal is to lose so much
weight that people think he has a cocaine problem.
The Los Angeles Times said Friday CBS News is trying to sign
Today Show host Katie Couric to anchor the CBS Evening News. It's
a ratings race. The question is, can CBS get Katie Couric signed
before ABC teaches Jessica Simpson how to read.
The Interior Department announced a new plan Thursday to
name benches in national parks after private donors. It's only the
beginning. You may not think anything when you see the president's
helicopter but Clint Eastwood sees prime billboard space for his
next Dirty Harry film.
Hillary Clinton enraged liberals Thursday with a letter
explaining her views on the Iraq war. She doesn't oppose the war
but she doesn't support it either. She would like to believe what
the president tells her but she's been burned before.
Democrat U.S. Congressman John Murtha called Friday for U.S.
troops to withdraw from Iraq to Kuwait. It's nothing new.
Democrats have been in favor of withdrawal before but eventually
the Clintons had to return all the furniture to the White House.
Bill Clinton received the Bambi Prize at a dinner in Munich Thursday. It wasn't what he expected. In Germany the Bambi Prize is given for charitable work while in the United States the Bambi Prize is given for the Best Actress in a Porno Movie.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton