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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
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Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
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January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Dec. 27, 2005
/ 26 Kislev, 5765
The comfort room will soon be so comfortable, there won't be an incentive to ever leave
By
Brad Dickson
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
There's a new high tech toilet seat on the market that includes all the latest toiletry accouterments, including a remote
control and heating capability. Which basically means when Dad is tying up the bathroom for an hour in the morning, now he has no
incentive to ever leave.
The seats even come with a warm air dryer. They supposedly represent the "next big thing" in toilets, and I can't tell
you how long I've been waiting for that.
Also, the top-of-the-line model includes a little man who on demand runs into the john and reads select passages from
Reader's Digest. Okay, I made that part up.
There's no truth to the rumor that President Bush bought several that contain tiny microchip recording devices built into the
lid.
Called the "Swash" the seats retail for $429 to $549, and business is reportedly brisk. I could say the company is flush
with cash, but that's really beneath even me.
Don't get me wrong, I find the things darn impressive. Conceived by a successful Internet entrepreneur who is now almost
so wealthy he can tell his parents he makes toilet seats for a living, and aided by an investment from billionaire Mark Cuban, I'm
only bothered by the fact that our most brilliant young engineers are now going into toilet design, while NASA apparently gets the
slackers.
What next will the most innovative young MIT grads end up designing ultra-fast high speed urinals?
Will our most intelligent mathematical and scientific minds forsake the Pentagon and aerospace work to devote their lives to
perfecting a new and improved Chia Pet?
If Steven Hawking were coming up today, would we know him as "Self Cleaning Oven Guru Steven Hawking"?
I can easily discern some flaws in the Swash. The remote control is troublesome to me. It's bad enough when men lose
the TV remote and you must pick through couch cushions to find it, but let a guy drop this remote in the wrong place and you spend
the weekend rummaging around a sewer. And that's not progress.
I can foresee other potential problems. A few weeks ago a Colorado man sued a large store chain after his derriere was
somehow Super-glued onto a toilet seat. The way his luck runs he could push a little too hard on the bidet button of the remote
controlled toilet and end up in a head pounding, circling-the-bathroom-ride ala being caught up in a powerful indoor geyser.
All this high tech stuff is fine, and one day I hope to have heated seats in my car.
But should "high tech" really be the wave of the future in toiletry? Considering the size of Americans' posteriors are
growing at twice the speed of the hole in the Ozone layer, and now resemble something like the back end of a Ford Expedition, if
Expeditions were made of fermented cottage cheese and whale blubber, how about designing larger toilets? Also, if you make the
things really, really large, there's even a chance the average man would be able to hit one once a month or so.
While I'm on the subject of toilets, how about we take all the low flush johns on this planet, load them onto freighter
ships, cruise to the middle of the ocean, far away from any trace of civilization, dump them overboard, and come back and design
something that can handle two slips of ultra-thin paper without backing up like New Orleans after a levee snaps?
But in this flattening world, where countries around the globe are supposedly catching and surpassing the U.S., it's
good news to hear that we're solidly ahead of the rest of the world when it comes to one technology. The bad news? That
technology is toilet seats.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Brad Dickson was a monologue staff writer for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno for 13 years. He's presently developing a network television pilot. Comment by clicking here.
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