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May 20, 2013
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
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Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
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May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
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Jewish World Review
Nov. 8, 2012 / 23 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773
The News in Zingers
By
Argus Hamilton
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
President Obama issued a stirring plea for unity during his victory speech in Chicago on Tuesday. His supporters cheered themselves hoarse in the ballroom. The mood was so jubilant in Chicago that everybody there agreed not to shoot each other until tomorrow. 
President Obama's supporters found out Tuesday that he won thirty-nine percent of the white vote. That's the same percentage of white Americans who play golf. Apparently President Obama hooked his first term so far to the left they agreed to give him a Mulligan. 
The New York Yankees said they won't try to sign free agent Josh Hamilton over fear of his drug and alcohol addiction. The city tries to meet you halfway. This past year the mayor resticted beer cups to sixteen ounces and the size of coffee tables to ten square feet. 
Roger Goodell said Monday flat-screen, high-definition TV sets are such high quality they're hurting NFL stadium attendance. The problem affects other sports as well. It may be no coincidence it was just announced Tuesday that the U.S. birth rate is at an all-time low. 
Los Angeles County voters passed a measure Tuesday which requires porn actors to wear condoms while filming scenes. Producers say it's a great opportunity for product placement. When they unroll the Coca-Cola billboard, it may cover all the production costs. 
Cleveland police reoprted Tuesday a convenience store robber in suburban Warren took the cash from the cashier and told him to vote for Obama. The robber is really sorry now. As soon as he put the cash in his pocket Obama declared him rich and took it all. 
Barack Obama picked up the phone to call Bill Clinton the moment he was projected the winner of the presidential race Tuesday. The price was easy. All Bill wants is for Hillary Clinton to remain Secretary of State so she'll be on the road for another four years. 
MSNBC's Chris Matthews thanked Heaven for Hurricane Sandy during Tuesday's election telecast. He loved how the deadly hurricane raised Obama's poll numbers. MSNBC has become such a cult that the next time the Hale-Bopp comet flies by they're going to be on it. 
Masschusetts voters elected Harvard professor Elizabeth Warren to the U.S. Senate Tuesday, a Senate seat long-held by Teddy Kennedy. Her false claim of Indian blood didn't hurt Warren. When it turned out she was not an Indian as she'd claimed, the voters figured she could probably handle alcohol better than Teddy and sent her to Washington.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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