Jewish World Review Nov 16, 2011 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Gloria Allred enlisted Chicago doctor Victor Zuckerman to back up his former girlfriend Sharon Bialek's sex harassment claim against Herman Cain. They're out to get him. Democrats believe any black guy who wears a hat like that thinks women are a commodity.
NBA Commissioner David Stern urged NBA players to accept the final offer from NBA owners. To sweeten the deal, he downgraded drug testing to a B-list issue. The deal is modeled on the contract Lindsay Lohan signed with Disney when she was twelve years old.
The White House handed a big no-bid contract to Siga Pharmaceuticals Monday for a smallpox vaccine. It's owned by donor Ron Perelman. Smallpox was eradicated thirty years ago and the FDA ruled this is evidence that the donor's new drug is safe and effective.
German TV aired a banned Star Trek episode in which Captain Kirk and Spock dress in Nazi uniforms to infiltrate a Nazi-run planet in order to overthrow it. The other episodes are considered just fine. Germany has no objections to pastel spandex and tights.
Hawaiian singer Makana sang an Occupy Wall Street protest song at President Obama's Pac Rim dinner in Honolulu Sunday. He sings it to fellow protesters in the park every day. It's an old Hawaii custom to welcome guests with a lei, a song and exposure to tuberculosis.
Nancy Pelosi was targeted by CBS's 60 Minutes Sunday for stock investments she and her husband made. Their coincidence with legislation under her control looked like insider trading. The only person who got in earlier than Nancy Pelosi did on Apple was Eve.
Jay-Z began marketing Occupy All Streets t-shirts Monday to cash in on the Occupy Wall Street movement. He sells them for twenty-two dollars but gives no royalties to the protesters. You know the revolution's over when the participants are making ten bucks for every t-shirt and complaining about the twenty cents China charged them for the fabric.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton