Jewish World Review Nov 15, 2011 / 18 Mar-Cheshvan 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Billy Crystal was asked to host the Oscars in Hollywood Friday. He will replace Eddie Murphy, whose producer was just fired for insulting gays. Far from insulting gays, Billy always ends his monologue with a song and dance number that employs hundreds of them.
Herman Cain alleged Thursday the sexual harassment accusations against him were set up by the Democratic Party machine. How is that possible? Everyone knows that for Democrats sexual misconduct is not a disqualifier for public office, it's a requirement.
Herman Cain apologized Friday for referring to Nancy Pelosi as Princess Nancy. He's on schedule. After three months of scrutiny, every presidential campaign has one male candidate who has to apologize for everything he ever said to a woman or about a woman.
President Obama surged in the Gallup Poll to pull even with the Generic Republican on the ballot. The generic Republican had a bad week. It's now clear that Mitt Romney will say anything to get elected while Rick Perry would get elected if he could say anything.
President Obama hosted an APEC Summit in Hawaii Sunday before flying to Asia and Australia for nine days. It might work. Analysis reveals that after a president's been in office for three years he goes up in the polls one point for every three days he goes missing.
McDonald's began testing test carrots, blueberries, and snow peas to replace French fries in Happy Meals Monday. Sales are way up. In the last few weeks they tested apple slices instead of fries and it's tripled the orders for a Happy Meal plus a large order of fries.
Nevada casinos reported gambling revenue is off six percent from last year. The NBA lockout is causing the same problem as the new Wall Street rules. No matter how much they discount the hotel rooms, people refuse to invest their money if there is risk involved.
Richard Nixon's grand jury testimony about the Watergate scandal was released last week. Comedians are forever in his debt. His racist and anti-Semitic rants heard on the Oval Office tapes provide the script for the hit one-man show, An Evening with Mel Gibson.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton