Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2010 / 5 Kislev, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Pentagon couldn't explain a trail of smoke in the sky indicating a missile was fired over the U.S. from just off the coast of Los Angeles Monday. It could only have been launched by an order from Washington D.C. Nancy Pelosi simply refuses to leave quietly.
Holiday Inn finished a billion dollar upgrade to their fourteen hundred hotels on Tuesday. It's a new look. Each room now has plush carpeting, flat screen TV's, gas fireplaces, luxury bedding and towels that are so thick you can barely shut your suitcase.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi threw a party for House Democrats in Washington Wednesday to applaud her Congress's legislative triumphs. She rose to become the first woman Speaker. That's the furthest that anyone in a dress has gotten in Washington since J. Edgar Hoover.
John Boehner was urged Monday to abolish the two-year-old Office of Congressional Investigations. It has referred nine black congressmen to the Ethics Committee. The Congressional Black Caucus begins each meeting with a prayer followed by the Posting of the Lookout.
President Obama addressed the Muslim world Wednesday, saying the U.S. will never be at war with Islam. That should settle the question of the president's religion once and for all. Only a real Christian would still turn his cheek after this many strikes.
President Obama met with the Group of Twenty leaders in South Korea Thursday a day after he printed up and released six hundred billion dollars into circulation. The other leaders were puzzled. Guys who do this usually hold their conferences in North Korea.
Alaska GOP Senator Lisa Murkowski sweated out her Senate election vote recount Thursday which required Alaskans to write in her name. The state is ten-to-one mountain men and her future depends on their spelling a Polish name correctly and neatly. At the last count she was trailing in third place behind Joe Miller and Lease a Mexican Jet Ski.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton