Jewish World Review Nov. 9, 2010 / 2 Kislev, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Nancy Pelosi faced a revolt from Southern Democrats Friday after the Democrats lost the House in Tuesday's mauling by the GOP. Just two years ago the Republican Party was an endangered species. It shows how good the Democrats are at conservation.
Michelle Obama vowed Friday to resubmit her Healthy Food Initiative to Congress in January. She's pushing hard for a national change in attitude. When Bill Clinton was president the White House had two kitchens, a large pantry and its own McDonald's.
San Francisco passed a local ordinance Monday that bans McDonald's from giving out toys with Happy Meals. Childhood obesity is at an all-time high in America. That's why the most popular names for boys and girls last year were Big Mac and Little Debbie.
California pot activists began collecting signatures Friday to place marijuana back on the ballot next election. Millions of marijuana backers showed up at the polls Wednesday to vote for pot legalization. Unfortunately the election was Tuesday.
The Taj Mahal Palace Hotel picked all the coconuts off their trees to keep any coconuts from falling on President Obama's head Friday. Safety first. If a coconut fell and hit Barack Obama on the head he could lose his memory and think he's still president.
Wall Street stocks soared Thursday over news that the Federal Reserve devalued the dollar to boost U.S. exports. There's money to be made out there now. Realtors are battling over who will get the commission now that Republicans have flipped the House.
Meg Whitman spent one hundred and forty million dollars of her own money and still lost California's governor race last Tuesday. She should have taken the hundred and forty million and made a super-hero movie starring herself. That's how Arnold Schwarzenegger became governor.
The White House stated Friday that President Obama wants a special relationship with India. Last year, Indian farmers asked their unmarried daughters to plow their parched fields while naked to shame the rain gods into producing rainfall. It proves to enterprising Americans there's always a new reality show out there just waiting to be sold.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton