Jewish World Review Nov. 5, 2010 / 28 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Jerry Brown beat Meg Whitman for California governor on Tuesday. The exit poll shows why. The thought of Jerry Brown made Baby Boomers think we're still twenty-five and the thought of Meg Whitman reminded us of the fake Rolex we bought on eBay.
President Obama took forty airliners full of supporters to India Thursday. His trip is costing U.S. taxpayers two hundred million dollars per day. You can always tell when a marriage is breaking up because somebody starts spending money like water.
President Obama rented out the entire Taj Mahal Palace in Bombay where he will arrive during a Hindu holiday. The timing is perfect for him. Everyone in India wants to know if it's true that Aqua Buddha was just elected U.S. Senator from Kentucky.
President Obama forgot to call the San Francisco Giants when they won the World Series on Monday. He ignored the national pastime. You can always tell what the president's watching by the roar that comes out of the Oval Office whenever Namibia scores a goal.
Barbara Boxer said she told her grandkids not to watch TV during the campaign so they wouldn't see all those terrible pictures of her on TV. It's partially true. There were terrible pictures of her on TV but she has no idea if she has any grandkids.
Oklahoma voters elected their first woman governor Tuesday and they banned any use of Islamic law in Oklahoma courts. Local rules apply. No woman in Oklahoma will be stoned for committing adultery unless she gets caught in a hailstorm during Ramadan.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton