Jewish World Review Nov. 3, 2010 / 26 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Election Day arrived Tuesday with the U.S. economy the number-one issue among U.S. voters. Only a last-minute turnout could have saved the Democrats. President Obama spent all weekend on the campaign trail offering hope and change and zero-percent financing.
President Obama scheduled no public appearances Monday as he braced for Election Day. Yesterday's catastrophic losses were caused by opposition to his health care plan. He's not worried, however, because his health care plan covers catastrophic losses.
The Republican Party was projected to make huge gains in Congress as Tuesday's vote came in. It was a conservative rout by the end of the day. Sarah Palin is said to be so excited she can't even make up the words to express how thrilled she is.
The New York Times ran an article about President Obama last Sunday which took note of how much grayer his hair has gotten during his two years in office. This amounts to piling on. You know he's in trouble when liberals complain that even his hair isn't black enough.
President Obama ripped Arizona's immigration law Friday and painted Democrats as the natural ally of Hispanics. He sincerely believes that Hispanics and black people get along out West. It proves once and for all that he's never been in federal prison or to a public high school.
UPS dropped off pick-up slips rather than packages in New York Monday to avoid a terror attack. Al-Qaeda was mailing out powder four times more explosive than TNT and more poisonous than ricin. However, it was no match for America's political atmosphere and it petered out harmlessly.
Al-Qaeda of Yemen took credit for Friday's thwarted terror attack via UPS package to Chicago. It's difficult to try these terrorists in U.S. courts. Last year a terrorist took a courthouse full of lawyers hostage and threatened to release one an hour until all of their demands were met.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton