Jewish World Review Nov. 2, 2010 / 25 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
John Kerry told a crowd Friday that Rush Limbaugh has turned America into Know Nothings. He is one to talk. John Kerry lost the presidential election six years ago when any idiot could have beaten President Bush, but John Kerry proved he's not just any idiot.
Al Gore was ticketed in Sweden Friday for leaving his car idling in an auditorium parking lot for one hour. He was inside delivering a speech about global warming. The steady hour-long drone really interfered with the event, but that's the way Al Gore talks.
The White House released logistical details Friday of President Obama's trip to India next week. He's taking forty planes full of people plus two Air Force Ones and both his Marine One helicopters. World oil prices jumped five dollars a barrel on supply concerns.
Senator Tom Coburn reported Friday the U.S. government sent one billion dollars to dead people in the last ten years for Social Security payments, medical expenses, rent, wheelchairs and farm subsidies. It includes a hundred million on medicine prescribed by dead doctors for dead patients. It's a disgrace the way Congress panders to Chicago voters.
London's Scotland Yard alerted President Obama about a suspicious package which British intelligence detected on a plane from Yemen to New York Friday. The timing was hilarious. Britain protected the United States five days before Barack Obama flies to India and Indonesia to help them celebrate their independence from being British protectorates.
Paul the Octopus died in Berlin Thursday after he correctly predicted all the World Cup matches. The octopus made gamblers a lot of money but he died under suspicious circumstances. When the cops arrived they smelled foul play and a delicious tomato sauce.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton