|
|
Jewish World Review Nov. 15, 2010 / 8 Kislev, 5771 The Turkey Shrinks as the Absences Grow By Mitch Albom
Once, missing Now there are reasons. Good reasons. At least on paper. This one has a high school reunion. This one just changed jobs. This one is moving houses. This one can't find a dog sitter. They are all being honest. Their lives are busy. Then here comes And At least it used to be that way. In recent years, the holiday has been shaved, like one of those giant wedding cakes that slowly gets sliced away. "It's cheaper to fly on Thursday," they say, so they come They are all being honest. The turkey sighs.
THE PAIN OF BEING POLITE
Once, Moving houses? Who moved houses? High school reunions? Who did that on Besides, this was family. And family meant obligation. Obligation to eat, even if you weren't crazy about the stuffed mushrooms or the sweet potato casserole. Obligation to listen, even if you had heard the World War II stories a thousand times. Obligation to do dishes. To carry out trash. To lift your grandparents' ridiculously heavy luggage. To stay. Today, we shy away from obligation. No one wants to "pressure" anyone else. Everyone wants to say, "That's OK, you do what you have to do." We act this way to be "understanding." I wonder if it's not so that we can expect it will be done for us. Accept excuses, and we can later make our own. It keeps our options open. It lets us wiggle out. Everyone is being honest. But why do we want to wiggle out of each other?
BEING PART OF AN ONLINE FAMILY
Maybe it's part of the New Busy, where we can entertain ourselves fully without leaving the house. In the old days, if you weren't at Today, you can be online, on Except you are missing family. You are missing a huge part of life, maybe the best part, when the whole ensemble is together, when one funny story tumbles into another, when your history is being told and made. Christmas is too much about presents. And you feed a family with turkey and memories, with laughs, with stories, with being side by side. The older relatives, who always knew this, have sadly passed away. Each The regrets trickle in. So sorry. Got tickets to something. Just gonna relax at home this year. They are all being honest. That's what hurts the most.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
© 2009, THE DETROIT FREE PRESS DISTRIBUTED BY TMS, INC. |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||