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February 13, 2012
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Menachem Wecker: Business Schools Teach Real Estate Despite Troubled Housing Market
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Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Nov. 26, 2008
/ 28 Mar-Cheshvan 5769
Shades of life
By Andrea Simantov
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The bulk of my 'growing up' was done in the 1960's, a decade that rang heavily with the music of Bob Dylan, Phil Ochs and the Beatles, and determined what hung in my closet according to the mood-swings of Carnaby Street and the Monterey Pop Festival. When I was growing up, I compiled an unwritten list of things I would never do, be, or eat after becoming a Grown-Up.
Some of things I would 'never do' included a) telling a daughter to stand straight so she won't appear stoop-shouldered, b) say to a seventh grader "I don't care WHAT the other students got on their tests, c) turn to the obituary pages before reading the morning headlines, and d) accept a date because the man was good looking. (I could finish off the alphabet on this one but you get the gist.)
The things I would never 'be' were a) overbearing, b) a gossip, c) indecisive, and d) lazy. Let's not even go there.
And the list of things I would never eat boasted a) beef liver, b) Bamba peanut flavored snacks, c) shwarma, and d) halvah. (Admittedly, in 1994 I thin-sliced a block of halvah that I'd purchased for a cancelled-at-the-last-minute dessert party and - after allowing the thin slivers to melt on my tongue over a period of one hour - I became an addict. But the remainder of the aforementioned list remains solidly intact.)
Point being, we are not creations of marble and steel but, rather, flesh and blood animals who have the ability to choose freely and make decisions. Better decisions. Richer selections and more meaningful choices according to the paths we follow. Of course, I suppose it works both ways and we can make dumber choices and lower some personal standards but I'd rather think that my fellow earth-mates (at least my local Jerusalemites) are all striving toward greater good. Yep, we can switch decor and lifestyles even at the price of occasional ridicule. To stay 'stuck' and claim, "This is who I am. Take it or leave it" is not, IMHO, ingredients for exciting interaction and growth.
Unlike their stubborn elders, children seem to 'get it' and are less likely to remain stuck. The 'stuck' part seems to happen as they get older and follow in the footsteps of their more rigid role-model seniors. Kids will lie on the floor of the bank when tired of standing on line with mommy or stare at someone unusual until their curiosity is satisfied. I can't begin to express how many times I've wanted to lie down on the cool floor of the bank until my turn or quickly turned my head from someone different way before I had my fill of inquisitiveness. It never feels fair to me but these are the rules for grown-ups and I'm a card-carrying member.
Walking to synagogue last week, I found myself trailing a young father and his two little sons. Although it was still early in the morning, the boys already started unraveling on the unseasonably warm morning: shirts halfway out of their pants, yarmulkes covering one ear, ritual fringes stubbornly refusing to stay straight. The morning air was quite still and I could not help but overhear their pre-prayer conversation.
"This week Mummy and I are going to look at new cars. Thank G-d, the family is growing and we need more space for all those car seats! What color car should we get?"
Three-year old: "Red! I want a red car!"
"Oh, please, Abba [daddy]," chimed in the five-year old. "Can we get a red car this time?"
From the set of his jaw, I could see that the father was trying to contain a smile. He answered slowly and deliberately, in British-accented English.
"If we get a red car, we will have to change the way we live. Red is a very strong color. Are we 'red kind' of people? I've always thought that we are more blue or grey."
I couldn't hear the children's responses but from the way they began kicking pine-cones and sliding down the iron-banisters which divided the path to the synagogue, I had a pretty strong sense that even though their father lingered quietly outside the color spectrum, these kids were home-grown 'crimson stuff.' I began to fantasize that if their dad would only spring for the red car, the Missus could stop buying low fat milk and flood insurance and take up hang-gliding and try on a pair of Kelly Osborne hip-huggers.
Before cyber-searching the significance of colors, I asked my 17 year old son which colors represented different members of our family. He's a sort of contemplative kid and I knew he wouldn't guffaw at the assignment but would, instead, chalk it up to some sort of new experimental therapy I was embracing. I wasn't disappointed.
"Netanel (his best and only brother) is totally red." I nodded in agreement because my research indicates that this color is associated with fire, blood, energy, war, danger, strength, power, determination, and the ability to burn the candle at both ends while causing a mother periodic heart stoppages.
He continued.
"Tehilah's color is orange/gold, I think." Hmm. (Enthusiasm, fascination, happiness, creativity, determination, attraction, success, encouragement, and stimulation.) Clearly Ariel was getting good at this because in considering the shades for his 14 year old sister, he chose corresponding hues that characterize prestige (social climbing?), illumination (my burgeoning electric bills), wisdom (abundant for her age), and high quality and wealth (healthy sense of entitlement).
For me he selected purple and although studies indicate that light purple signifies feelings of romance and nostalgia, I imagine that he was instead envisioning dark purple which, unmistakably, is the color of varicose veins.
But what if we can change our colors? Or, like chameleons, adjust our shades as determined by changing environments? Would that mean that a man who is so exasperatingly beige might be able to keep his wonderful traits such as dependability intact while readily imbibing a good dose of 'magenta' for the sake of his peppy wife? Could a chartreuse cashier live happily-ever-after with an olive green accountant if both agree to share an occasional cup of Swiss-blue tea?
Although the trees have turned bare after littering the ground with their amber and copper leaves, the sky appears more and more like a clean palette upon which I can paint tomorrow's dreams and relationships in the colors I choose. Merely by lifting my eyes — figuratively and literally — I can easily recall when my heart was the heart of a child and remember — even if only for a moment at a time — what it felt like to catch snowflakes on my tongue, lay on the floor of the bank, and be carried to bed after falling asleep before the cartoon ended.
More than anything, I'm sure hoping that the young father I trailed one Sabbath morning has, after kicking the tires on a few new models, finally put his deposit on the red car.
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JewishWorldReview.com contributor Andrea Simantov is a Jerusalem-based columnist and single
mother of six. Comments by clicking here.
Life's footprints
A pear for my father
To raise a man
Ruth's gift
Baywatch Babe Baskets and Eminem's evil Israeli twin
Springing into Tu B'Shevat
Chanukah: The quintessential female holiday?
© 2007, Andrea Simantov. This column first appeared in Orange County Jewish Life
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