Jewish World Review Nov. 24, 2008 / 26 Mar-Cheshvan 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Nancy Pelosi refused to schedule a lame-duck session Friday to give automakers billions and force them build advance vehicles. She's no fool. Democrats want to be in favor of fuel-efficient cars but they don't want to run for re-election on them.
Former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle was named Secretary of Health and Human Services Wednesday. Health care reform is a priority in every administration. It's on the to-do list right after energy independence and a Cubs World Series victory.
Pittsburgh Steelers bettors rioted last Sunday when refs made the wrong call at the game's end, costing them a point-spread cover. It cost bettors sixty million dollars. The good news is that anybody who bet the house is now eligible for a federal bailout.
Barack Obama named Greg Craig, who represented Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy in their last sex scandals, his White House Counsel Tuesday. It's a sign that the new president might be funny after all. Comedians can hear noises that other people can't.
Ford rolled out a supercharged Mustang Tuesday a day after GM introduced their new Cadillac that goes two hundred miles an hour. Don't you love this country? We take a hundred years to put an electric car on the drawing board but gas prices drop two dollars a gallon and the rocket ships are on the showroom floor in two weeks.
Hillary Clinton expressed no fear Monday of being closely vetted for Secretary of State. Even Democrats question her qualifications. How can she be the nation's top diplomat when she couldn't even keep wars from breaking out in the Living Quarters?
The White House decided Monday to leave three hundred fifty billion dollars of the rescue money to the next administration. They bailed out the banks, and now the line for handouts includes homeowners, automakers, city and state governments and airlines. The last time President Bush saw lines this long it was on his coffee table.
Barack Obama's election was reported Tuesday to have brought a huge tourism boost to Southside Chicago. Bus tours show tourists Barack Obama's house, barber shop, and church. The neighborhood is glowing with pride, or that could be the light from the crack pipes.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton