Jewish World Review Nov. 18, 2008 / 20 Mar-Cheshvan 5769
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The White House hosted a World Economic Summit Saturday. They drew up a thirty-seven point plan to save the world. The first point was a directive to Barack Obama to make loaves and fishes and the next thirty-six points were recipes for sandwiches.
Hillary Clinton flew to Chicago to discuss the Secretary of State job with the president-elect Friday. Why give up her U.S. Senate seat? As Secretary of State you serve at the pleasure of the president, and she always delegated that to the interns.
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown amazed the Council on Foreign Relations in New York Friday by urging a global tax cut to stimulate the economy. And he's the Labor Party leader. Now that Republicans are safely defeated, everybody's for tax cuts.
Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson said Saturday the bailout will only apply to banks and thrifts and not to the long line of corporations asking for access to the rescue fund. The CEOs are putting on a good act. The shoeshine guy at the Washington D.C. airport charges ten dollars for a shoeshine and a hundred and fifty for a scruff-up.
The United Auto Workers said Saturday they won't make any concessions on wages or benefits to help the Big Three. First things first. Investors are just starting to realize that General Motors is a health care provider that makes cars on the side.
General Motors went to Congress for bailout help on Friday. The automaker faces a tough choice as gas prices plummet. They can either make low-profit hybrid cars or high-profit SUVs, and GM executives must decide between ribs or burgers for lunch.
Conde Nast publishers in New York canceled their famous annual Christmas Party for journalists Friday, citing cost-cutting. It's not the real reason. The truth is they didn't want to give the employees the new security code to get back into the building.
The National Football League slated three games on Thanksgiving Day to run one right after the other. Call it a public service. The NFL wants to do all it can to keep relatives from talking to each other while there is a carving knife on the table.
Quantum of Solace starring Daniel Craig as James Bond opened Friday in America after a record London opening. The character is evolving. He doesn't sleep with his leading lady, but three times he asks his boss M if she ever saw Harold and Maude.
Sotheby's auction house on Wednesday reported plummeting demand for vintage wines, art and jewelry. It's bad. During the last sale in New York, the auctioneer sold himself for a hundred dollars plus drinks and was lucky to get the minimum bid.
Las Vegas hotel owner Shelly Adelson put five hundred million of his own money into his Sands Hotel Wednesday to help it avoid bankruptcy. It's amazing. At the start of the year he was the third richest man in America on the Forbes list, and after losing sixty billion dollars in the last month he's moved up to the second spot.
NBC News put Joe Scarborough on a seven-second delay Wednesday for swearing on his morning talk show. He's had problems with the network before. Last month NBC News took him off the air for a week when he mentioned Barack Obama's name without crossing himself.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements.
Comment by clicking here.
© 2007, Argus Hamilton