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Jewish World Review Nov. 4, 2008 / 6 Mar-Cheshvan 5769 And now for the important news .... By Argus Hamilton http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The U.S. Constitution requires Americans to elect a new president Tuesday. There are no losers on this day. The winner's supporters will think they have a mandate to rule and the loser's supporters will live in a parallel universe in which they won. Election Day arrives today and for the first time in thirty-two years we won't have a Bush or a Clinton on the national ballot. Expect a record-high voter turnout. All you have to do is give the people what they want and they will show up every time. The Federal Election Commission predicted Friday that a hundred and thirty million people will vote today. Everyone will watch the historic results tonight. For Anglo-Saxon males it will be only the forty-fourth chance to see one of our own elected president. John McCain and Barack Obama vowed change if elected president. They would replace a guy who invaded Iraq, tripled gas prices, crashed the stock market and took over the banks. Either candidate would have won in a landslide by promising to Change Back. John McCain appeared on Saturday Night Live Saturday. He showed up with a flag of truce. From now on when a nominee considers vice presidents he'll check three times to make sure they don't have any look-alikes on the cast of Saturday Night Live. Barack Obama spent the early part of the weekend stumping for votes in Arizona and Nevada. His audiences were enthusiastic. In the desert Southwest Barack Obama has replaced the Virgin Mary as the number-one sighting on grilled cheese sandwiches. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here. Argus' Archives © 2007, Argus Hamilton

Columnists Mitch Albom Jay Ambrose Bruce Bialosky Lori Borgman Ben Carson Mona Charen Richard Z. Chesnoff Alicia Colon Ann Coulter Greg Crosby Larry Elder Suzanne Fields Christine Flowers Bernie Goldberg Jonah Goldberg Paul Greenberg Argus Hamilton Victor Davis Hanson Froma Harrop Ron Hart Nat Hentoff A. Barton Hinkle Laura Hollis Jeff Jacoby Jack Kelly Ch. Krauthammer David Limbaugh Rich Lowry Michelle Malkin Ann McFeatters Dana Milbank Jeanne Moos Dick Morris Jim Mullen Judge A. Napolitano Kathleen Parker Star Parker Dennis Prager Wesley Pruden Tom Purcell Sharon Randall Michael Reagan Robert Robb Dave Ross Debra J. Saunders Martin Schram Robert Samuelson David Shribman Roger Simon Lenore Skenazy Michael Smerconish Thomas Sowell Mark Steyn John Stossel Cal Thomas Dan Thomasson Bob Tyrrell Dave Weinbaum George Will Walter Williams Byron York Cathy Young Mort Zuckerman Toons Eric Allie Robert Arial Baloo Pat Bagley Nate Beeler Lisa Benson Chip Bok Dry Bones John Branch Daryl Cagle Cameron Cardow Patrick Chappatte John Cole Paul Combs J. D. Crowe John Darkow Bill Day Matt Davies John Deering Bob Englehart Brian Duffy Everything's Relative Randall Enos Mallard Fillmore David Fitzsimmons Glenn Foden Jake Fuller Bob Gorrel Walt Handelsman Joe Heller David Hitch Jerry Holbert David Horsey Taylor Jones Lee Judge Steve Kelley Mike Keefe Jeff Koterba Dick Locher Chan Lowe Jimmy Margulies RJ Matson Gary McCoy Rick McKee Paresh Nath Jack Ohman Jeff Parker Milt Priggee Michael Ramirez Rob Rogers Steve Sack Bill Schorr Drew Sheneman Kevin Siers David Ray Skinner Jeff Stahler Scott Stantis Danna Summers Gary Varvel Kirk Walters Christopher Weyant Larry Wright Dan Wasserman Adam Zyglis Lifestyles Tech Q&A Ask Doctor K Richard Lederer Bookmark These Bruce Williams