In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 8, 2007 / 27 Mar-Cheshvan 5768

I swear it's not my fault

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Hons, I'm a little nervous after reading that a Scranton, Pa., woman was charged with disorderly conduct and could spend 90 days in jail for shouting profanities at her overflowing toilet.

In her own home.

As Dawn Herb explained it, "I was in my house. It's not like I was outside or drunk. The toilet was overflowing and leaking into the kitchen and I was yelling (for my daughter) to get the mop."

Only apparently she asked for the "#$%@!" mop.

A neighbor, hearing this agonized cry, did not respond with plunger in hand but rather reported the cursing to the police, who cited Ms. Herb. Along with possible jail time, she could be ordered to pay a fine of $300, which could be better used to pay for three minutes of a plumber's time, if you ask me.

So why does this story give me the shivers? Well, because I live in an 85-year-old house and I know what it's like to stand in questionable water every now and then, screeching for help.

The last time this happened, about two weeks ago, I seem to recall saying something like, "Oopsie daisy! This silly goose of a toilet is overflowing all over the place. Let me just shut the water off and grab a few towels! It's no big deal!"

No! Wait a minute. That's not what I said at all. It was more of a "Oopsie #$%^ daisy! This @#$%^ toilet is overflowing all over the @#$%^ place. Let me just shut the @#$% water off and grab a few @#$%^ towels! It's a big @#$% deal!"

Fortunately, the neighbors didn't report me. Presumably because they also have 85-year-old plumbing and were busy cussing out their own toilets.

Have we become so sensitive that a person can't even cuss out their own toilet without fear of being arrested?

I'm not proud of it, but I've cussed out every appliance in my home at one time or the other. The !@#$% food processor usually gets the worst of it followed closely by the !@#$% vacuum cleaner. They're a pair of @#$%^'s, those two.

I also feel sorry for Ms. Herb because she said the cursing began while trying to get her daughter to fetch a mop.

Having both a toilet and a daughter of my own, I can say with great certainty that the daughter was probably listening to her @#$%^! iPod and wouldn't have noticed unless the toilet had pulled away from its base and lurched into her bedroom itself demanding a mop. At which point, the daughter would just say, "Mooooooommmmm! The !#@$$% toilet is in my room again."

Y'all know I'm right.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.

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