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May 20, 2013
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
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David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
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Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
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Jewish World Review
Nov. 1, 2007
/ 20 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
By
Celia Rivenbark
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
What a bountiful season it's turning out to be for weird celebrity news: Ellen Degeneres' weepy on-air breakdown over her ex-dog, Iggy, being taken away from her hairdresser's kids; Oprah announcing that she has a 20-pound thyroid gland (sorta); Jerry Seinfeld's wife being accused of stealing another writer's book idea; and "Harry Potter" creator J.K. Rowling telling everyone that Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore is, in fact, quite gay.
Which brings me back to Ellen, who basically had a big, fat nervous breakdown on national TV.
Quick recap: Ellen adopts dog from animal shelter; Ellen discovers her cats don't like new dog; Ellen equally amazed to discover sun rises in east and sets in west; Ellen bequeaths dog, "Iggy," to hairdresser who does her hair every single day; adoption agency learns of this and takes Iggy away from hairdresser's hysterical kids; Ellen, weeps uncontrollably for fate of the now thrice-relocated Iggy.
Oprah announces to the world that she has finally found a logical explanation for her 20-pound weight gain this year. Turns out that a mischievous thyroid is to blame! We haven't been this excited since O announced the exact dimensions of her poops on national TV one day.
I gained 12 pounds in the past year myself and also blame my midlife thyroid, rather than the more obvious cause: food.
As Seinfeld might ask, "Wha's the deal?" with people saying his wife, uh, Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld, may have plagiarized recipes for her best-selling "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook? Didn't we see her prepare broccoli juice and kudzu brownies and some-such on show after show? That's for reals! Fortunately, Jerry has sprung to the defense of the missus, saying that she's been sneaking veggies into food for years in order to make sure her family eats healthy. In a related note: Mrs. Seinfeld was so elated with her guest shot on "Oprah" that she sent O 21 pairs of designer shoes worth many hundreds of dollars a pair.
Oh, and 19 of those civilians were children.
Y'all know I'm right!
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Celia Rivenbark is an award-winning news reporter and freelance columnist for The Sun News in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Comment by clicking here.
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
High School Musical rocks to the max!
Where did latest syndrome come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy
Kid bumper stickers sure not terrific
© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services
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