Jewish World Review Nov. 15, 2007 / 5 Kislev 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The London Sunday Times reported that Michael Jordan is set to pay his wife one hundred and sixty-eight million dollars for his divorce. The NBA commissioner took notice. Starting this January, the league's ban on gambling will include marriage.
Pakistan's Benazir Bhutto was put under house arrest Monday. She was surrounded by hundreds of burly men wielding submachine guns. The first thing she did was pick up the phone and tell the Des Moines Register that the boys are ganging up on her.
CNN's Wolf Blitzer will moderate tonight's Democratic presidential debate held in Las Vegas. He was the only choice to referee as seven guys prepare to take on Hillary. After covering two wars in the last sixteen years pitting international coalitions against Iraq, Wolf Blitzer is journalism's leading expert on unfair fights.
Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue asked lawmakers and ministers to join him at the state Capitol Tuesday to pray for rain. They weren't his first choice. He called them only after the Cherokees refused to come back home from eastern Oklahoma for one dance.
The Justice Department prepared to release crack cocaine prisoners Monday. The release will be in gradual stages. California convicts must be retrained to snort the powder instead of smoking it to conform to the state's Smokey the Bear regulations.
Grover Norquist called for a constitutional amendment banning family members from succeeding each other as president. Hillary is unaffected because there's a Bush between her and Bill and Jeb isn't affected because there'll be a Clinton between W. and him. As long as the ruling families continue to alternate, the amendment would never come into play.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton