Jewish World Review Nov. 2, 2007 / 21 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Queen Elizabeth welcomed Saudi King Abdullah to Buckingham Palace Tuesday and rode with him in a gilded horse-drawn carriage. The reception was a message to the king. With oil at ninety-four dollars a barrel you've got us all living like the Amish.
The Boston Red Sox held a World Series victory parade in Boston Tuesday. Their fans went wild. So much money is being spent on beer in Boston that Dick Cheney is seriously considering ditching the oil industry and getting in bed with Sam Adams.
Prince Harry was questioned by Scotland Yard Tuesday about the shooting of two rare hen harrier birds. The cops were very careful with him. There are only twenty breeding pair in all of England and no one wanted the incident to turn the prince gay.
Alex Rodriguez was ripped Tuesday for breaking into World Series coverage with news he's leaving the Yankees. It was a blatant display of hogging the spotlight to satisfy his ego. In other words, he passed his Los Angeles physical with flying colors.
The U.S. Navy destroyer Arleigh Burke rescued a North Korean merchant ship from ruthless pirates who had seized the boat off the African coast of Somalia Tuesday. This wasn't the first time. Every year the North Koreans get lost on the way to Syria.
The Democratic candidates pledged Tuesday to keep Iran from getting a nuclear weapon. How can the United States prevent Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons if they really want to get them? We can't even keep the kids away from Britney Spears.
Dennis Kucinich said in Tuesday's debate he's seen UFOs, right after he said it was time to check on President Bush's mental health. It could all be true. Every week they pick up their lithium at the same pharmacy and act like they don't know each other.
Jerry Ford recorded his deepest beliefs for a book called Write It When I'm Gone, which was published Monday. He revealed, in remarks he wanted published posthumously, that he thought Bill Clinton was a sex addict. Some guys are always the last to get the word.
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton