Jewish World Review Nov. 1, 2007 / 20 Mar-Cheshvan 5768
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Alex Rodriguez refused the New York Yankees' offer of one hundred fifty million dollars Sunday. It gives you an idea of how much people hate New York. Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani are running for the presidency just to get out of the city.
Las Vegas prosecutors cut a deal Monday with the third armed robbery defendant in the O.J. Simpson case. He's not worried. There are three people who will say O.J. is guilty and that's three hundred million less than said he was guilty last time.
The New York Giants played the Miami Dolphins in London's Wembley Stadium last Sunday. It was an education. The players' agents wanted the players to see the big, safe bank buildings where their money goes when they deposit it in the Cayman Islands.
Southern California officials said the brushfires in Malibu and Lake Arrowhead will be contained by Friday. Everyone's very calm now. The victims in Malibu aren't worried about finding shelter because they have second homes in Lake Arrowhead.
Arnold Schwarzenegger told an interviewer Monday that marijuana wasn't a drug but a leaf. He's admitted to smoking a little pot in the Seventies, but that was all. It took him years to live down the label of lightweight from his fellow Baby Boomers.
Hillary Clinton led a poll Monday of which presidential candidate would make the scariest Halloween costume, and Rudy Giuliani finished a distant second. Rudy tries to scare the voters every day about terrorist threats, yet Hillary is still considered scarier. That's how much the American people are afraid of tax increases.
French President Nicolas Sarkozy stormed off CBS' 60 Minutes Sunday when Leslie Stahl asked about his love life. Surely he didn't expect questions about currency valuation on 60 Minutes. Most Americans think the Euro is Rudy Giuliani's surgeon.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2007, Argus Hamilton