In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 15, 2006 / 24 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767

Stressed out senior needs mom's support

By Marybeth Hicks

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Someone — OK, me — recently made a comment about my daughter's clownlike application of ChapStick. It wasn't meant as a dig or even a joke, really. It was more of an observation. Who knew it would produce this response?

Me: "Your ChapStick looks like clown makeup. It's all around the outside of your lips."

Katie: Cups hands over her face and bursts into tears.

On reflection, I should have known she would lack coping skills today, much less a sense of humor. In fact, the whole reason she's sitting in the passenger seat of the van, as opposed to driving herself and her sister to school as usual, is that she stayed up until 4 this morning writing not one, but two, essays due today for English class.

There was no way I going to let her get behind the wheel of a car after less than four hours of sleep. This was a good call on my part. The comment about the ChapStick, maybe not so much.

Now, lest I be judged a negligent mother for letting my 17-year-old high school senior work into the wee hours writing essays, let me start by admitting I was sound asleep and didn't know she stayed up almost until dawn.

When I went to bed at 11, she said she had only about a half-hour's worth of work left to do and would be packing up soon.

Also, for the record, Katie isn't a slacker who left those essays to the last minute. She's a hard worker and high achiever who left those essays to the last minute. There's a difference.

Unfortunately, the 60-hour-per-week workload of today's high school senior leaves little time for rest or, for that matter, for eating, bathing, putting away clean laundry or speaking in coherent sentences. I'm not exaggerating — that 60 hours reflects the actual amount of time my daughter spends each weekday in school, at sports practice and doing homework in the evenings.

Never mind band concerts, small group projects or leadership roles — all of which took extra time this week. The girl is swamped.

That's nothing. College applications are due this month, a process so arduous I'm certain I wouldn't be granted admission to a university these days, even with decades of life experience to beef up my resume. You need a long list of achievements, a flow chart, a secretary and a Ouija board just to complete the forms and submit them on time.

Add it all together, and you have a teenager on the brink.

Once again, I'm amazed at how easily our life slipped into the very state of chaos to which I swore we never would succumb.

Back before I had teenagers, I read plenty of articles about teen stress, outlining all the physical and psychological risks facing today's young people. I declared — emphatically, because that's how declarations are made — "Not in our house."

Sanctimoniously, I said we would avoid the frenzied pace of overachievement. Instead, I would require that my children make some hard choices. They could commit to just a few satisfying and worthwhile activities to complement their academic experiences. This way, there would be time for family dinners, household chores and the occasional baby-sitting job.

This declaration turned out to be a lot of idealistic hot air on my part. Oh well. In parenting, ignorance is bliss. Our lifestyle is as insanely busy as all the articles said it would be.

Plus, despite being busy enough for two teens, Katie managed to slip in a few commitments under my parental radar. "It's no big deal," she told me when she joined a new youth group. "We meet in the mornings before school."

And so it has gone since last Monday — early morning meetings colliding with homework, sports practice and the odd piano lesson, culminating in a three-hour nap intended to pass for a good night's sleep.

This means it's time for just one thing — Mom's Stress Management Program — which begins with the imposition of adequate rest. Of course, insisting a 17-year-old go to bed early isn't easy. There will be resistance, in much the same way a baby resists going to bed while rubbing her red eyes, writhing with exhaustion.

Somehow, though, I don't think a girl who blubbers about misplaced ChapStick will mind being forced into a state of restorative slumber.

The next step is the reality check — something I would never attempt until after the sleep deprivation has been addressed, for obvious reasons. Once the dark circles under her eyes fade and we're facing the light of a new day — a weekend, thank heaven — we'll sit at the kitchen table and make a list of what's on her agenda.

We'll assess how crucial each item is to the advancement of civilization, and hopefully it will be clear to Katie that she doesn't have to run herself ragged to be happy or successful or even to get into college.

Maybe she'll learn some new habits, such as time management and the capacity to control her calendar by saying "no." Heck, maybe she'll even give up all-nighters just in time for college.

I know, I know ... but it can't hurt to be idealistic, can it?

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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 19 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2006, Marybeth Hicks