Jewish World Review Nov. 20, 2006 / 29 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Iraqi insurgents disguised as local police kidnapped thirty people in Baghdad Tuesday morning, then released them hours later. The kidnappings had to be very carefully choreographed. Americans won't watch anything except dancing competitions.
Puerto Rico passed a sales tax Tuesday in a historic first for the Caribbean island. As a U.S. possession, they get U.S. protection but don't have to pay U.S. income taxes. So this is why Wesley Snipes's birthday is a national holiday in Puerto Rico.
Incoming House Homeland Security Chairman Bennie Thompson vowed not to fund the fence on the Mexican border. He said Democrats don't think the fence is a good idea. It's more evidence the Democrats will have their next political convention in Jonestown.
O.J. Simpson agreed Wednesday to tell the Fox Network how he would have committed the murders if he had done it. He may be hitting rock bottom. The Florida Citrus Growers just offered O.J. ten million dollars if he will change his name to Red Bull.
House Democrat Jack Murtha's bid for Majority Leader was blunted Wednesday by the sudden appearance of quarter-century-old video of FBI agents posing as Arabs who are trying to bribe him. Americans were shocked. No one could believe there was a time when Arab-looking guys could pass an FBI background check and get hired.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton