Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2006 / 22 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Bill Clinton was invited to break ground for the Martin Luther King Memorial on the National Mall today. There was no question he would be the first choice for the groundbreaking. Everyone agrees that nobody can shovel it like Bill Clinton.
Pasadena citizens defeated a ballot measure Tuesday to convert the Rose Bowl into a National Football League stadium. The decision could be perceived as racist. By an overwhelming margin, the residents voted to convert it into a nuclear reactor instead.
Los Angeles police were caught on videotape beating an Hispanic suspect with their closed fists while he lay on the street. Black leaders are outraged. First Harold Ford lost in Tennessee and now blacks can't get any camera time in Los Angeles.
Guns N' Roses canceled a concert in Maine last week after the band was told they would not be allowed to drink onstage. It's a local ordinance. This lets album collectors know they should give up looking for Dean Martin: Live from Bangor.
The Department of Transportation predicted on Wednesday that a record number of Americans will travel for Thanksgiving. It's a national ritual. Thanksgiving is a time when American families make every effort humanly possible to get together during halftime.
Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich won reelection Tuesday after opponent Judy Baar Topinka accused him of being a loser like the Chicago Cubs. How dumb was that? Even John Kerry knows better than to tell a joke in Illinois that insults the Cubs.
U.S. Senator Jay Rockefeller will head the Senate Intelligence Committee after the Democratic takeover. He's the great-grandson of the founder of Standard Oil. He holds the distinction of being the only senator whose family was once in charge of Iraq.
George McGovern said Thursday U.S. troops should be brought home by June. John Dean in his new book accused the president of abuses in the White House. If this is a Twilight Zone episode, we're about a month before the break-in at the Watergate.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton