Jewish World Review Nov. 10, 2006 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
House Speaker-designate Nancy Pelosi got a congratulatory call from President Bush on Wednesday. Six years of dominance by evangelicals have been replaced by San Francisco values. This time next year, Medicare will cover sex-change operations.
Senator George Allen of Virginia had to decide whether to call for a recount Wednesday. He wasn't alone. There were so many close calls on Election Day that the bidding for Al Gore's concession speech reached sixty thousand dollars on eBay.
Senator Hillary Clinton gave a big victory speech Tuesday. Her husband stood behind her onstage, applauding broadly and upstaging her. Earlier that night she threatened to divorce him if he didn't change out of his Elvis Presley jumpsuit.
Rep. Nancy Pelosi vowed Wednesday to drain the swamp in her first hundred hours as Speaker. She added there will be no corruption and no ethical lapses when she's in charge. Democrats did not fight for twelve years to get back into power for this.
John Kerry was relieved Tuesday after Democrats took the House and maybe the Senate. Had they lost, he would have been blamed for insulting the troops with a botched Bush joke. Now he says his funny bone was shattered by shrapnel in Vietnam.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2006, Argus Hamilton