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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
February 9, 2012
Laura McMullen: 10 Least Expensive Public Schools for Out-of-State Students
Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
Suzanne Bohan: Leaping lizards! Tiny reptiles advancing robot design
February 6, 2012
Jonathan Tobin: Iran Threatens Israel With Destruction, But the New York Times Doesn't Hear It
Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
David Francis: Where to Invest in 2012: With stocks expected to rebound, opportunity abounds for investors
January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
Warren Richey: Supreme Court says no to new rule on eyewitness testimony
John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
The Kosher Gourmet by Joseph Erdos: This mushroom and barley soup has an intense -- almost nutty -- flavor that mixes robust with Middle East. It has creaminess without cream
January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Nov. 9, 2006
/ 18 Mar-Cheshvan, 5767
I'm taking selling to a whole new level
By
Malcolm Fleschner
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
"Do you want to make more money? Sure, we all do." You're no doubt familiar with the TV commercials for various employment "opportunities" that open this way, typically followed by footage of folks grinning widely over the small fortunes they're ostensibly earning in their spare time, or maybe while they sleep (the commercials aren't clear).
These ads always remind me of the summer in high school I went looking for a job and wound up in an office with a dozen other pimply teenagers listening to a guy with greased-back hair and a Members Only jacket tell us about all the money we could make selling silverware.
For an hour he talked up the brand of silverware and shared success stories about, for example, the college freshman who'd paid for his entire college education through one summer's work, the 18-year-old who'd made enough to travel the world, the high school junior who'd bought a new Vespa scooter, and so on.
Asked where we were supposed to find enough customers clamoring for new silverware to subsidize our expensive tastes in tuition, scooters and exotic travel, he responded that the company would start us off with something called the "F&R Method." This unique approach, no doubt developed by top minds in the marketing field, essentially consisted of us trying to sell silverware to our friends (F) and relatives (R).
That was enough for me. "If I could get money that easily out of my friends and relatives, why would I need a job?" I felt like asking. Instead I walked out, even though it meant missing the story of the eighth-grader who'd sold enough silverware to buy his own South Sea island.
This having been my only significant encounter with the business phenomenon known as multilevel marketing (business-speak for "a good way to lose friends"), I was understandably skeptical when my wife mentioned recently that she was considering signing up with a multilevel marketing outfit called Discovery Toys.
She noted that we already buy many of the company's toys as therapy tools for our developmentally delayed 2-year-old son, and that by becoming a "consultant," she could get the toys at a reduced cost. Not counting the cost of admitting to people that she'd gotten involved in multilevel marketing, that is.
So she went ahead, although I still had some misgivings. What if my wife expected me to promote the high quality, affordable and wildly popular Discovery Toys in my column, perhaps adding that they make terrific gifts for any kids on readers' shopping list this holiday season, which is right around the corner, I might add? Thankfully, she understands that as a journalist, I have too much integrity for that.
But now these concerns are gone, replaced by utter joy. That's because I've discovered a vast, untapped and captive customer base to try my new multilevel marketing sales tactics on - anyone who comes to my door requesting contribution to a cause, selling magazine subscriptions or inviting me to join a cult. Now, instead of slamming the door, I greet them with a wide grin.
"Yes, I am interested," I say, no matter what they're selling. "And, in fact, I think we can help each other out. Are you familiar with Discovery Toys? Well, they're absolutely terrific. Here, take a catalog.
"And as long as you're going door-to-door," I add, joining them outside, "why don't I tag along and distribute some catalogs to my neighbors? That will give you time to think about which toys to order."
No sales so far, but I'm confident that with persistence I'll soon earn my way into a new Vespa. Or at least a Members Only jacket.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
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