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February 10, 2012
Lisa M. Krieger: Man with defibrillator demands access to his own heart's information
David G. Savage: Why activists may not be in a hurry to have High Court rule on alternative marriage
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Kimberly Palmer: How to actually enjoy -- relaxing, financially -- your vacation
February 8, 2012
Warren Richey: Why momentous Prop. 8 ruling might not satisfy gay-rights groups
Menachem Wecker: Though Controversial, LL.M.'s Can Lead to Specialized Legal Jobs
The Kosher Gourmet byDana Velden: Going to the bother of making soup? You know it better be good. This CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP certainly is! And it's a cinch to make, too (Includes techinques and serving secrets)
February 7, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Caught off-guard? President's Super Bowl interview with Matt Lauer gives those who need a reason not to vote for him, a darn good one
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February 6, 2012
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Jeffrey Fleishman: In newly democratic Egypt, tens of democracy activists jailed, to stand trial; their groups are 'threatening the stability of the homeland'
Julie Deardorff : Researchers say antioxidants may not be that effective and could do more harm than good
Mark Clayton: How did Anonymous hackers eavesdrop on FBI and Scotland Yard?
February 3, 2012
Edmund Sanders : Israeli official says Iran is creating missile that could reach East Coast of US
Victoria Kim: Immigrant-smuggling ring used black drivers to avoid racial profiling
February 2, 2012
Jim Carney: Wrong number call may have saved her life
Reza Kahlili : Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: What Obama doesn't grasp about striking deals with Tehran
Tina Susman: For woodchuck rescuer, every day is Groundhog Day
February 1, 2012
Brian Bennett: US officials see increasing threat of domestic attack from Iran
Emily Brandon: How to Take Advantage of New 401(k) Fee Disclosures
January 31, 2012
January 30, 2012
Paul Richter and Ramin Mostaghim: Misreading Teheran's limits -- deadly and economically devastating as they may be -- is a risk administration, Europe seem willing to take
Suzanne Bohan: Warning: Nap-deprived tots missing more than sleep, study finds
Meg Handley: Banks Revamping Rewards Programs to Woo Customers
January 27, 2012
Caroline B. Glick: Obama: Of course I intend to prevent a nuclear holocaust . . . in a few months
Yochonon Donn: In liberal New York City, fervently-Orthodox Jews may soon be getting a district to call their own
Jeannine Stein: An inflated ego and thinking you're 'all that' doesn't just make others sick of you, it can make you ill
Katy Hopkins: New budget rules may affect how much money you get for college
January 26, 2012
Ed Koch: To the New York Times, calling for the murder of Jews by those capable of having their incitement taken seriously isn't news
Jeannine Stein: Mental illness struck one in five U.S. adults in 2010: Report
January 25, 2012
Richard Simon: House passes two bills endorsing the use of religious symbols at military memorials
Fred Weir: Putin: Multiethnic Russia cannot survive as a US-style 'melting pot'; must find its own way
Susan Johnston: 5 Sneaky Coupon Strategies Consumers Should Watch Out For
January 24, 2012
Carol Clark: The price of your soul: How your brain decides whether to 'sell out'
Caroline B. Glick: America lost most in 'Arab Spring'. Sadly, many voters still don't grasp the extent
Warren Richey: Drug criminal scores win in GPS ruling from conservative-leaning high court
Erika Bolstad: Black conservatives gather to talk about gaining strength
January 23, 2012
Melissa Dribben: Jewish voters to play a key role in Florida's Republican primary
Jordan Rau: In quest to grow, Catholic hospital system will announce this morning its break from church
Ali Safi: U.S. envoy gives Taliban terms for peace talks
January 19, 2012
January 18, 2012
January 17, 2012
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: No-kidding red lines: U.S. response to an Iranian nuke may be bluster, but Israel's won't be
David G. Savage: They sued their principals after slandering them online --- now the cases are headed to the Supreme Court
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January 13, 2012
Ben Lynfield: Israeli lawmakers move to annex Jewish Judea, one museum at a time
Alexia Elejalde-Ruiz: Thriving through touch: Gentle massage helps older people with low mobility improve in mind and body
January 12, 2012
Warren Richey: Landmark Supreme Court ruling a 'resounding win' for religious groups
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John Fauber : Statins found to raise diabetes risk in postmenopausal women
Katy Hopkins : Consider This Before You Pay for an Online Degree
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January 11, 2012
Shari Roan: Millions of atrial fibrillation sufferers at risk for devastating, but preventable, stroke
Tom Hussain: Pakistan -- recipient of more than $21 billion in civilian and military aid -- speeds pursuit of Iranian pipeline, defying US
David G. Savage: High court signals it won't be loosening TV's 'indecency' rules
Stephen Ceasar: Oklahoma's Islamic law amendment can't go into effect, court rules
January 10, 2012
Reza Kahlili: From an ex-CIA spy: US must exploit new split in Iran's Revolutionary Guard
Karen Kaplan: Study: Nicotine replacement products ineffective when used in real-life situations
January 9, 2012
Michael Doyle: Put through legal hell over dream home, couple fought back hard --- all the way to Supreme Court
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Jewish World Review
Nov. 1, 2005
/ 29 Tishrei, 5766
So, you want to work for Wal-Mart
By
Lenore Skenazy
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
An internal Wal-Mart memo recently leaked to The New York Times showed the company musing on how to cut costs. The ideas kicked around included for real hiring more part-time workers to reduce the number of employees getting health benefits, and discouraging unhealthy people from applying, period. This could be done by making every job, including cashier, require some taxing physical activity, such as cart-gathering.
Elsewhere the memo proposed in-store clinics, so workers wouldn't waste time taking family members to the emergency room. It noted that workers were sicker than the general population, as they tended to be heavier. And it bemoaned the fact that loyal employees garnered raises over the years, but were no more productive than their entry-level counterparts.
Wal-Mart workers make around $17,500 a year and, the memo noted, "a significant percentage [are] on public assistance."
All that is real. This job application is not:
WAL-MART JOB APPLICATION
Part I
Name:
Nickname: (Note: If it's "Gimpy," "Stubby" or "Wheezy," please skip to Part IV. )
Age:
Weight:
Real weight, you big fat liar:
Part II
Check one:
- I am willing to work half days.
- I am willing to work quarter days.
- I am willing to work every other hour, alternating with a mother of seven.
Do you
- Smoke?
- Drink?
- Eat fatty foods?
- Have you ever eaten hot dogs from the stand in the front of the store?
If yes, skip to Part IV.
Reason I would like to work at Wal-Mart:
- Mom-and-pop grocery down the street where I used to work just closed.
- Dress shop where I used to work just closed.
- Furniture store where I used to work just closed.
- Nothing left to pawn.
- Nothing left in fridge.
- I am seeking enlightenment and have taken a vow of poverty.
- Just seems like a great place to work! (If checked, please fill out Form 198-A: Psychiatric Issues.)
Do you have any children? Yes/No
If yes, would you be willing to have your sick child seen by a Wal-Mart doctor/frozen entree department supervisor?
Would you consider alternative medicine, such as a shot of NyQuil and your choice of a Great Values frozen dinner?
Are you able to lift heavy things (not including your jumbo-size self, that is)?
Fill in the blanks: I am eager to help gather carts despite chronic problems with my that cause painful that sometimes leak.
Part III
- The Wal-Mart Pledge: I promise to leave this job any time I am in line for a raise and send my younger sibling, child or, where applicable, grandchild to replace me at an entry level salary, preferably part-time.
- I will not sue Wal-Mart even if I spend my nights locked in the store.
- I will not sue Wal-Mart even if I am a woman making less than any of the men around me.
- I will go on a diet, take vitamins, do pushups and move into a dank cave on the outskirts of town all for the sake of boosting the Walton family higher up the "Richest Humans in the World" list. (If no, please skip to Part IV.)
Part IV: Try Kmart.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.
Lenore Skenazy Archives
© 2005, NY Daily News
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