In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 17, 2005 / 15 Mar-Cheshvan, 5766

Splitting the Haute cuisine scene

By Garrison Keillor

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The pleasure of fine dining has pretty much worn off for me, I must admit. I realized this the other day when I sat in a French-type restaurant and gazed at the menu and felt a craving for a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of chili. Not a gourmet chili made from beans imported from Chile but the kind that comes in a can, thank you very much. The kind you used to get at Woolworth's lunch counter.


Toast two slices of bread.
Place slices of cheese between toasted slices.
Nuke in microwave for 10 seconds.
Eat with chili while reading the paper.

I look at the hundreds of cookbooks in our pantry — Julia Child, Marcella Hazan, James Beard, The Moosewood Collective, Craig Claiborne — relics of a former life, back in the Eighties when men who were bored with dirt-track racing and elk hunting discovered that you could lord it over other men in the kitchen, and cooking became a macho event.

I had a Harley-Davidson food chopper and cheese grater and carried a two-stroke rotary-turbine garlic press in a holster on my belt. I spent hours in the kitchen, whacking together remoulades and seviches and road-seared armadillo cheeks on a bed of lichen with an effusion of asphalt and twirling it over my head — Perfecto! — and women looked at me in wonder: Their husbands could barely boil water, and there I was, Master of the Feast, pouring a fabulous sauvignon blanc, nattering about the right way to blanch snow peas. A man who knew how to blanch!

But that was back in the Eighties, when people went in more for self-expression. We all smoked cigarettes then and everybody was making black-and-white movies about train tracks or writing imagist songs or tying up a bundle of old newspapers and entitling it American Prose Rectangle No. 1 and showing it in a gallery. So it was natural for men to take up cooking.

Back in those days I shopped at a spice store that carried 24 different kinds of oregano and I assembled an awesome collection of German knives. I got into arguments with other men over the comparative virginity of our respective olive oils. I sneered at a man's salad once because his shaved parmigiano wasn't the right parmigiano and I happened to have some of that parmigiano on me and I showed him how to shave it thin and translucent as parmigiano should be shaved and he shoved me away and we rolled around on the kitchen floor, punching and kicking and gouging each other. Now we're best friends. Once I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. He told me that my dressing needed more vinegar. He was wrong about that. Dead wrong.

And then one day it was all over. I threw a dinner party for 12 and made gazpacho and risotto and tacos and osso buco and a gateau of Jell-O with marshmallows and served it with a Barolo, and when the guests left, delirious with pleasure, I put my whisk away and never looked back. It simply wasn't fun anymore. A man comes to a point in life when he decides that he doesn't have to make the best risotto in town. It's not important.

People still ask me what is the secret of my risotto and I tell them, "I got over that. That part of my life is behind me now."

The simple truth is that I like Spanish rice. Macaroni and cheese is good, the manna that G-d gave to the Christian people in the wilderness, which is where we are still living. And those dried soups you buy in large bowl-like containers. You fill with water and nuke it and you've got soup. It's good.

And so for Thanksgiving, I am serving a pressed turkey loaf with instant mashed potatoes and the yams that come in a cooking pouch and, of course, canned cranberry, which is better than anything you can make yourself. And mince pie from the bakery, with Reddi-wip.

As the Psalmist said, it is G-d who hath made us and not we ourselves; we are his people and the sheep of his pasture. Come unto his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise. For the L-rd is gracious; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth from generation to generation.

In other words, get over it. Lighten up. It isn't about food.

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© 2005 by Garrison Keillor. All rights reserved. Distributed by Tribune Media Services, INC.