Jewish World Review Nov. 30, 2005 / 28 Mar-Cheshvan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Congressman Duke Cunningham broke down and wept Monday after
pleading guilty to taking bribes. He's a former ace pilot who
inspired the movie Top Gun. Tom Cruise is so unstable that now any
guy who was ever played by Tom Cruise is cracking up.
The Weather Channel reported that a giant blizzard crossed
the nation's midsection on Monday, paralyzing traffic and delaying
flights. The country was covered in snow from North Dakota to
Texas. Michael Irvin insisted to police that it wasn't his.
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones hinted Sunday at an
interest in signing Terrell Owens. It might be good for the
suspended star receiver. He doesn't have any drug arrests, so he
still has some career goals left to achieve with the Dallas Cowboys.
New Mexico governor Bill Richardson admitted Friday he
wasn't drafted by the Kansas City A's as his bio states. He knows
how the game is played. To change the subject he just announced
that New Mexico is launching a pre-emptive war on Arizona.
Wal-Mart executives were quoted on the radio Monday
supporting a raise in the minimum wage. It would give people more
money to spend at Wal-Mart. They want a three-dollar-an-hour raise
for American jobholders, which is a lot of money in rupees.
Heidi Fleiss will open a brothel in Nevada called Heidi's
Stud Farm in which male employees cater to women customers. It's a
privacy issue. These days women will pay two hundred dollars an
hour not to have to give out their telephone numbers.
Saddam Hussein ranted at the presiding judge and raved about the occupiers at his war crimes trial in Baghdad Tuesday. He's been charged with rounding up people, conducting brutal prisoner interrogations and holding people in prison without trials. Apparently we would rather prosecute him than pay royalties to him.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton