Jewish World Review Nov. 25, 2005 / 23 Mar-Cheshvan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Fleetwood Mac's Mick Fleetwood said Monday that a line of
all the cocaine he ever snorted would stretch five miles long.
He's sober now. However, his nose surgeon got a nasty flashback
when he saw the tornado damage in Evansville last week.
The FDA banned poultry imports from British Columbia
Tuesday. A second bird came down with bird flu. Investors who
missed out on Google aren't jumping out of windows but they are
seriously thinking about flying to Vancouver for fried chicken.
Congressman Duncan Hunter offered a bill to build a twenty-
foot fence along the U.S.-Mexican border. Reaction was swift.
Every sports book in Las Vegas made Mexico the odds-on favorite to
win the pole vault competition in the next Olympics.
Brett Favre passed brilliantly in a losing effort for the Green Bay
Packers Monday night, the same day Donovan McNabb's season ended
in injury. So this week Terrell Owens and Jose Canseco and Michael
Moore all turned out to be right. People can forgive anything but that.
John Daly, it was announced Monday, will appear in a Golf
Channel reality show about his life called The Daly Planet. Now
that's entertainment. John Daly once sued the PGA for the right to
use a beverage cart to get from shot to shot on the course.
President Bush found himself trapped onstage at a press
conference in China Sunday. He couldn't get the exit doors to
open. Congressman John Murtha went on NBC's Meet the Press and
said he told everybody the doors were locked two years ago.
Elvis Presley Enterprises introduced four new blends of Elvis Presley Coffee to grocery stores Monday. There's no doubt he was associated with the product. Elvis Presley took so much speed he drank Turkish coffee to go to sleep every night.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton