Jewish World Review Nov. 16, 2005 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Alex Rodriguez was voted Most Valuable Player Tuesday
despite getting caught frequenting illegal poker rooms. He loves
to visit sick kids in the hospital. He cheers them up by promising
he'll fill an inside straight for them in tonight's game.
CBS News began a road tour Monday to focus national
attention on the obesity crisis in the United States. The newest
diets are so loose that people don't even know when they're
cheating. They're based on California's no-fault divorce law.
The U.S. Senate voted Monday to drastically cut funding for
the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste storage dump in Nevada. It was
too risky. Scientists warned that if you put enough radioactive
material in Nevada you can see through playing cards.
Hillary Clinton visited Jerusalem's historic Western Wall
Tuesday. She wrote a prayer note and slipped it between the
stones. Fifteen minutes later there was a crack of thunder and her
husband was thrown from the rope line back into the car.
The FAA ordered airlines Tuesday to change the fuel tanks on their planes so they don't explode like TWA 800 did nine years ago. It's about time. They should have issued an order long ago banning fuel tanks with missiles sticking out of them.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton