Jewish World Review Nov. 14, 2005 / 12 Mar-Cheshvan, 5766
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Get Rich or Die Tryin opened Thursday, starring rap star 50
Cent. The studio edited out a scene where he kills four rival
crack dealers. It left the rapper with the standard complaint that
some of his best work was left on the cutting room floor.
The Congressional Budget Office released an employment
report Friday that is sure to ring alarm bells on Capitol Hill. It
says that one out of every seven U.S. workers today was born
outside the United States. The other six still live in India.
Former FBI agent Coleen Rowley announced Friday she will run
for Congress on the strength of her ignored warning to the White
House before the attacks on the World Trade Center. The woman is
really selfless. She blew the whistle on the president and all she
got for it was one comparison after another to Monica Lewinsky.
NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue promised a team to Los
Angeles Thursday. It's about time. After a season of sex cruises,
cocaine busts and lesbian cheerleader antics, the league cannot
remember why it objected to Los Angeles in the first place.
Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb said Thursday
it's time to turn the page on Terrell Owens. Happy holidays to
all. The Eagles fans are just glad one of them's gone so they
don't have to choose between the turkey and the fruitcake.
Pete Rose Jr. admitted Monday to selling the illegal drug
GBL. It's a steroid and a date rape drug and an auto engine
lubricant. Jerry Springer kept a bowl of them on the green room
coffee table before the drug was outlawed three years ago.
New Orleans is considering scaled-down plans for Mardi Gras this year. If it wasn't for bad news they would have no news at all. Last week New Orleans was the only French city in the world deemed by al-Qaeda inspectors as too soggy to burn.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton