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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 21, 2012/ 5 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773

Betting on a celebrity calamity

By Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) It started as a fun idea among women friends but now it’s on, witches.

On like unto Donkey Kong.

Meet my celebrity fantasy league team: Mamarazzi. The name practically ensures that I’ll beat the other seven teams in our league.

Turns out you don’t have to limit fantasy drafts to football or baseball as Duh Hubby has done for years. No, no. Turns out that there’s such a thing as a fantasy league in which you earn points each time a member of your roster of carefully chosen celebs gets a magazine cover or even a mention in the “People” chatter column. Or even an inside photo. Points are, sadly, deducted for stints in rehab.

I was over the moon when, after drawing numbers and drafting fourth, I got my all-time No. 1 choice: Britney Dammit Spears!

The rest of my team includes Adele (who should hatch soon enough to catapult Mamarazzi into first place in 8 weeks), Demi Moore, and Amanda Bynes. My alternates are Gwyneth Paltrow and scary low-talking New Jersey “Real Housewife” Dina Manzo. My guy team is: Ashton Kutcher, Ceelo, Jason Segal and paparazzi magnet Leo DiCaprio. My kid pick is Sasha Obama.

I know what you’re thinking: “What is she talking about? I’m going to do the Cryptoquote now.”

No! Don’t do it! Listen up! This is, finally, a way to make all those hours of, ahem, “research” pay off. I’ll admit I’m a little heavy on the ladies most likely to drink too much and end up wobbling on a La Cienega median wearing nearly nothing, but still – my team is golden.

Of course, the other team owners think the same and a few of them actually have something of a shot. I’m still more than a little cheesed that I didn’t get Reese Witherspoon or my No. 1 boy pick, Prince William. Truthfully, Sasha was only my third choice, coming after sad-eyed Suri Cruise or that darling little Chaz Bono-to-be, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

Still, Team Mamarazzi will triumph. I know it as sure as I know that Jennifer Garner will continue throwing a litter and John Mayer will give Katy Perry a parting gift that requires penicillin.

I live, eat and breathe pop culture. That said, I openly wept when my new “People” arrived with stupid Blake Lively’s wedding photos all over it. I don’t get any points because the draft wasn’t in time for it to count this week. Soooo, while her Charleston plantation wedding to Ryan Reynolds (Scarjo’s alliterative ex) was lovely and all, it would’ve been much more useful to me if they had waited one stinkin’ week.

Celebrities are so self-absorbed, am I right?

You’re probably thinking this tracking and scoring takes time but thank goodness for the folks at www.celebrityfantasydraft.com. They upload standings every week. A friend who doesn’t have a team likes my chances: “I bet Britney melts down on “X Factor” this week,” she said.

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” I said somberly.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Celia Rivenbark is the New York Times bestselling author of 'You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl'.


Undergarments on parade
All the news that's fit . . . for the toilet
Nutty? Or just too much Nutella?
Have a seat . . . if you dare
Motherhood, Hollywood style
Parents, kids don't want you at games
Parents, kids don't want you at games
It was fine . . . until they called it 'pink slime'
She'll miss Walmart's 'aggressive hospitality'
Pageant mom wastes dollars, lacks sense
When counter intuitiveness fails
Dear older folks: Think before you ink
They let their thumbs do the walking . . . to the wrong phone
Congressional plans lacking horse sense
She's Forever Lazy, so butt out
It was famous while it lasted: Celebrities as marital guest stars
It's all about the ‘Sass-poles’
Mothers and daughters and books, oh my
Her Klout starts with a ‘k’
She's naming names . . . Smurf style
Copying her daughter? That's so Lohan!
A few swift kicks in the seat
Buy my %*&^ing book!
Shellacked in a foreign language
College degree can be had in 3 days
She'll take names, and then call them losers
I beg of you, spare the ‘Children’
Release the hoards
Brace yourself for a luxurious smile, and a big bill
Speaking her mind by pushing his buttons
She'll have another shot of mugs
Polygamy may only get one season
A picture is worth $1,000 for retouching
Not cancer, still a big fat pain
A text is worth 1,000 words
Ready for some laughs again
Now men don't have to work out either
Hormones rule home of Princess and mom
Add some oohing, cooing to your kitchen
Tweeting puppy a perfect pet … for twerps
Science fair spurs on hyper parents
Cat naps aren't all that popular among felines
Nightmare in the mall's dead zone
America: Cut out the need to be cute
Taking a page from a ‘Mad’ mother
She's adding truth serum to her Cap'n Crunch
Snuggie ensnares another victim, er, admirer
Florida can keep its snakes
She's homeless . . . but for $95 she can go home with your princess
Southern fish experiencing identity crises
Monkey baby big business for the small-minded
All mommixed up? Try keeping toes in a breath-mint tin
Thunder thighs finally get revenge
Where would I be without the digested read?
Butter buds: Julia and Celia
Facebook is for ‘old’ people, too, missy
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Getting refreshment not berry smooth in age of mass marketing
Reality show lowers her IQ to sub-dirt levels
Cuddle parties are the latest weird trend
Middle school is a whole new game and these players are vicious
If the first lady can dig in the dirt, why can't I?
Somehow, we've all lost our internal censors
Not to rub it in, Barbie, but you're old
Some things you probably don't need to know about your friends
Big family, big ratings, big mess
Fred Mertz for vice president
Women and tools are like grease, water
Runners are a different breed of folk altogether
Don't get all bento out of shape
For you, Princess? I'll buy junk
Gwyneth P. needs big ol' reality check
Reality show amuses yet repels viewer
Spying on kid at summer camp awfully fulfilling
Stars? Great outdoors? I don't think so
Honesty in the name of fashion
Perfect attendance award is for little, viral losers
Trendy new ailment not for everybody
What is wrong with the women today who marry insanely rich and talented men and then think they still have to cook?
Shagadelic on the dance floor
Ex-boyfriends can have the worst timing
Little wonder many voters are confused
Sound bites not easy in Southern
I swear it's not my fault
Celebrity news gets weirder, trumps all else
Driver's license? Outta my way while I get `em
Like taking Miley Cyrus tickets from a baby
Driving under the influence of celebrity
Hugged your Webkinz today?
Hate mail spawned by humor columns
‘High School Musical’ rocks to the max!
Where did latest ‘syndrome’ come from?
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Tell the truth, folks, we all love Paris' trauma and drama
Office gossip is protected free speech
First-class corpse
Song lyrics have only gotten dumber
Talk to the clock because the ISP doesn't care
Being a happy human vessel has its limits
Who's not your daddy?
Phoning for dazzlers
Proper spelling begins at home
Sick of the waiting room
Road signs
Halt your motion toward the lotion
Sudoku's got my husband's number
One short stack of smarts, please
Spa me the kids
IRS wants us to like it so much that it smacks of desperation
Uniforms: Soul-sucking sameness
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
Welcome back for guilt-free manly man
A big boo-hoo for disgraced celebs
Girls' pajama parties a little different now
When Bubbas and hoes are extra welcome
Ageless icons can't escape their ages
Gifts to kids' teachers make competitive moms antsy

Kid bumper stickers sure not ‘terrific’

© 2007, The Sun News Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services

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