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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 17, 2012 / 1 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773

The connections that truly matter

By Sharon Randall




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | We trade a lot of messages, my sister and I, but sooner or later, we always manage to connect.

That hasn't always been the case. She's five years older than I am, just enough so when we were growing up, she wanted nothing to do with me.

For years, I thought she didn't know my name. Or maybe she forgot it. But she clearly recalled it in her 20s, when she was a young mother desperate for a baby sitter, and I was a teenager desperate to make a buck.

Not that she ever paid me. I didn't care. It was enough to get to hang out with my niece and nephews and practice for when my turn would come to be not just an aunt, but a real mother.

It came soon enough. After college, for reasons I've yet to explain, I "abandoned" my family in the South to move to California and marry a high school basketball coach.

My sister flew out for the wedding. Then she flew home and for years, we seldom connected at all. She was busy being a nurse. I was busy having babies and going to basketball games. Phone calls were few. Visits were rare. Our lives went in different directions.

We reconnected, however, as if we had never been apart, the day our father took his life.

Death often draws the living closer. If a burden is too great to bear alone, we tend to reach out and prop each other up. It's an unwanted, but healing, gift. Or so it was for my sister and me.

But we didn't really start talking until our mother got lung cancer. My sister would take Mama to see the doctor. Then Mama would call me with a full report. Then I would call my sister to get the real story.

That phone circle lasted two years through surgery, chemo and trips to the hospital. Then my husband, the coach, was diagnosed with colon cancer. And our phone bills doubled.

I'd call my sister to ask about Mama. My sister would call me to ask about the coach. And Mama would call anyone who'd pick up the phone to try to find out anything she could.

For a while it seemed my sister and I talked about nothing but cancer. It made me miss the days we seldom talked at all.

After our mother died, I flew home to help my sister with the funeral. Two years later, when my husband died, my sister flew out to make me go to bed.

Then that summer, she made me go to Mexico and pose for a picture with a live chimpanzee.

You know how some say laughter is the best medicine? My sister swears by it.

That was more than a decade ago and we are still laughing.

We talk at least once or twice every week, sometimes more, and we hardly ever talk about dying or cancer or politics or other unpleasantries.

Sometimes we talk about movies or TV, our brothers and cousins, the latest family news. And we tend to commiserate a bit about what hurts where.

Mostly we talk about our children and their children. We share stories and memories, passing them back and forth like a box of See's Nuts & Chews.

Her oldest grandchild just started driving. My youngest just started walking. Oldest to youngest, we know every detail.

These are easy things to talk about. They roll off our tongues with a sweet, lingering taste that leaves us smiling, wanting more.

Given a choice, I'd pick easy talk every time. But there will be harder things to talk about sooner or later, no doubt. We will take them as they come.

Life rolls by in fits and starts, in moments good and bad. You can't help noticing hard times. They scream for your attention. But good times are easy to miss. Slow down. Pay attention. If you see one coming, reach out and grab it. Clutch it to your heart. Lift it up and let it shine.

Then call somebody you love and tell them about it. It doesn't matter, really, what you talk about. Just be sure to connect.

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Previously:


Children don't need much --- but need to know they matter

Cancer is everyone's story

When does 'happily ever after' begin?

Is there ever a good way to say goodbye?

The being and the finding

When fishing, she lands companionship

Trophy sunsets

Helping a friend find the way

A home abloom with family and sunflowers

Healing is our highest calling

Needing help can really make you feel so, well . . . helpless

The bedspread from hell

A phone call to treasure

It was close to the best gift my father had ever received

It was the right time --- not a moment too late or too soon

25 tips for staying married

Some people water your soul --- a storm worth waiting for

Driving country roads helps restore hope

Confessions of a bad-weather magnet

The new star of my husband's harem

Shared family moments are precious, irreplaceable

What I'll remember from serving on the jury in a murder case

When someone walks into your life and never lets you go

Look for beauty

We can't always 'be there' when we're needed

Picture-perfect memories

To love someone is to want to hear all their stories

With age should come at least some wisdom

A story for my grandson

Regretting she didn't help out a woman in need

Post-holiday-visit blues

For 2012, tuck some hope into your wallet

The measure of a time well spent is not where you went or what you did. It's the way you smile remembering it

Treating people we love like the Jello salad at Thanksgiving dinner

We all need something or someone to pull for

Hold on to treasured words, don't trust memory

A storybook princess

Love reaches forward, never back

How to Watch a Sunset

Waiting often comes with gifts

An exceptional book club

There is no guilt in moving forward

Celebrations full of love and buttercream

It takes a whole village of shoes to raise a child

The best stories always tell us who we are

Stop, look back . . . and listen

The great outdoors, if one's lucky, a rock-solid companion

An iChat with my grandson

Lightening bugs and other things make us glow

Each and every Fourth of July a cause for celebration



© 2012, SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE

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