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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 30, 2012 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5773

Ahmadinejad calling

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad phones President Obama's private line. Obama answers.

"Why are you calling me, Ahmadinejad? You know we're not ready for one-on-one talks."

"But Mahmoud and the mullahs worried about American election! We worry Obama will lose!"

"I'm not going to lose, you nut job. People love me here. I give them other people's money."

"But Mahmoud think Romney use Iran to score big points in debate. He scare people into thinking Iran developing nuclear weapons and that you not do enough to stop us!"

"That's not true. My sanctions are killing your economy and if anyone knows how to slow an economy, I'm your guy."

"But Romney threaten to make Iran sanctions worse. Mahmoud and the mullahs fear he will block American cable TV just as 'Dancing with Stars' getting good."

"Romney isn't as tough as I am. I killed Osama bin Laden."

"Here's what really worries Mahmoud: Romney threaten to indict me under United Nations genocide convention for my threats to eliminate Israel. Mahmoud like Obama much better."

"You like me! If you don't stop the development of nuclear weaponry, I'm going to be your worst nightmare."

"But Romney is Republican like those crazy Bush presidents. The Bushes say they will attack Middle East and then do — three times!"

"Yeah, well, when I'm in a second term and don't have to run again, you better give up nuke production or I'll really let you have it. I have Israel's back, buddy."

"But Obama not visit Israel. You visit other countries in region. While in other countries, you say America has been arrogant and dismissive. You say America has made its share of mistakes. Mahmoud like such words!"

"You're quoting me out of context, you zealot. I was merely trying to distance myself from the reckless policies of my predecessor."

"Mahmoud really like how Obama sit on sidelines when uprising break out in Iran. Obama let Mahmoud and mullahs squash protesters before they succeed. Mahmoud like that!"

"You better watch your step or I will squash you."

"Mahmoud more worried that Romney squash Iran. Mahmoud fear that Obama's policies in Middle East make him look weak — that Obama olive branch is backfiring and that Middle East hate America just as much as ever."

"Not true. My charm is working on the people there. It takes time, but they'll come around."

"But radicals kill your ambassador in Libya. Violence breaking out all over. Al-Qaida is far from dead. Obama appeasement policies no seem to be working. No wonder American voters think Obama lack respect, which allows Mahmoud and the mullahs to keep building nuclear weapon. That's why Mahmoud want to help Obama!"

"Help me? How can a crazed half-dictator help me?"

"First, Mahmoud cut deal with tough dictators and shady leaders from around world. They all endorse Obama in public now — not good for Obama image. So Mahmoud persuade them to NOT endorse you."

"What are you talking about, you madman?"

"Mahmoud get Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to complain about Obama being hard on him, then he break down crying on TV!"

"Go on."

"Then Russian President Vladimir Putin go on TV and say you negotiate too tough and get the better of him."

"Keep going."

"Then Mahmoud complain that Iran can't take tough Obama sanctions anymore and Iran finally give up nuclear bomb ambitions!"

"Nice try, Ahmadinejad, but you have a long history of mistruths and exaggerations. How can I trust that you will do what you say you will do?"

"Funny, but Mahmoud wonder very same thing about Obama."

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