Jewish World Review Oct 4, 2011 / 7 Tishrei, 5772
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Bank of America began charging its customers a five-dollar-a-month fee to use debit cards Friday to recoup lost debit card revenue due to a new federal law. So much for electronic transactions. It's sure to return America to the system of checks and mattresses.
The Nobel Peace Prize committee in Oslo gave no clues Sunday as to the frontrunner for this year's peace prize. It will be announced on Saturday. President Obama is out of contention for the prize but if he kills one more al-Qaeda leader he gets a free car wash.
The New York Post reported that U.S. Capitol staffers filed a record number of sexual harassment suits. It shows that high salaries, permanent job security, and great health care is not enough for some people in this recession. They want a million dollars per grope.
Florida moved up their presidential primary to the end of January on Friday, sending campaigns into scramble mode. It boosts tourism. Florida needs a January presidential primary to lure tourists now that Sea World no longer allows the whales to eat the trainers.
Michelle Obama smiled for photographers as she shopped at Target Thursday. The Secret Service had to secure the store before she arrived. They worked furiously to remove the ice cream and French fries from the snack bar that's always been out to get her.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie tied President Obama in the polls Friday. It prompted the Democrats to begin speculating about his weight. It's not true that if Christie's elected president he will move the presidential retreat from Camp David to Hershey, Pennsylvania.
President Obama's former official Van Jones promised MSNBC Friday that he is going to organize liberal street protests to counter the Tea Party this fall. He predicted an American Fall that's just like the Arab Spring. If we fall any further we're going to hit China.
China launched its first space lab module Friday in a first step toward China's space station. The country plans to send an astronaut to the moon in eight years. China can only dream of all the basketball jerseys they'll sell on a planet where everybody can dunk.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton