
 |
|
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Oct 28, 2011
/ 30 Tishrei, 5772
Crazy crafter comes unglued
By
Lori Borgman
| 
|
|
|
| |
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
I am not a crafter. Crafting is a genetic thing, either you have the gene or you don't. I have contacted the Genome people about this matter, but they have yet to answer. They are probably busy crafting -- making models of DNA strands with toothpicks and Styrofoam balls.
Even though I am not a crafter, when I watch those who are, I sometimes delude myself into thinking that I, too, can do dramatic things with plastic pomegranates, silk greenery and artificial woodland creatures.
It's the same sort of delusion I have when I watch the instructor on the 10-Minute Pilates tape. I begin thinking that I, too, am tall, flexible, willowy and can lie on my back and command my legs to lift completely over my head in one fluid motion. (Move legs! Move! Why aren't you moving?)
It's not that I haven't tried crafting. I have a long history of failure.
Gift Bag Made From a Sheet of Newspaper: I followed the instructions but it looked more like an '80s fanny pack than a gift bag.
Counted Cross-Stitch: This project lasted for two stitches.
Cornhusk Doll: Found out I preferred my cornhusks in tamales.
The last craft I attempted involved a pumpkin, glue and gold glitter.
Note that the skill set required for this craft involved nothing more than coating a sizable object and then rolling the coated sizable object in small sparkly particles.
I was pleased with myself. It was pretty, festive, dazzling even.
I took it to a family get together. My brother examined the creation and asked whatever possessed me to do such a thing to a pumpkin. He then began to laugh. He laughed so hard he began snorting and nearly lost control.
The last thing a reluctant crafter needs is to be taunted.
I have been on a hiatus from crafts until I recently was invited to a stamping party. The clever, hand-made invitations said there would be light snacks. If I couldn't craft, I could always snack.
The projects were adorable, a paper pumpkin, an owl bookmark and a broom made of candy corn, fringed paper and tags with seasonal messages.
The paper pumpkin went better than expected. My candy corn broom wasn't exactly like the demo, but in the "somewhat similar" category.
The owl craft was daunting. They had small jiggling eyes on small circles of paper and wore snappy little plaid vests. The best I could hope for would be a cross-eyed owl with uneven shoulders wearing a halter top.
A crafter repeatedly asked if I wouldn't like to make the owl. I said no three times and then offered to teach her how to lift her legs over her head. It was the last I saw of her.
I did learn this much: If you take a doughnut hole, frost the top third and roll it in chopped nuts, it looks like an acorn. If it doesn't look like an acorn, you just eat it and nobody is the wiser.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.
ARCHIVES
© 2009, Lori Borgman
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|