Jewish World Review Oct. 29, 2010 / 21 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama met on the phone with union leaders Wednesday. They were event planning. The thirty-three rescued Chilean miners are coming to the White House this weekend to advise the Democrats on how to get out of the hole they find themselves in by Tuesday.
President Obama listed his accomplishments in office on Urban Radio Tuesday. No one gives him enough credit. Barack Obama took something that was in terrible shape and brought it back from the brink of disaster, and that something was the Republican Party.
House Democrats across the country aired last-minute campaign TV ads distancing themselves from Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the Health Care Reform law. It may be too late. Kaiser could have warned the government that being an HMO makes people hate you.
Mel Gibson was removed from the cast of Hangover Two on Wednesday after his fellow actors refused to work with him. They're still sore about his racist, anti-Semitic rants. No one's hired him in six months, which is rather harsh under celebrity law.
Cook County election officials found fraud in Chicago's vote-by-mail system on Tuesday. It didn't look right at all. Ninety percent of the dead voters listed Heaven as their current address on their ballots and Chicago never broke that way statistically.
President Obama urged Democrats Wednesday to knock on doors on Election Day to help get out the vote. There's an art to getting out the vote this year. You have to knock authoritatively on the front door while assuring the Rottweiler that you're not from the bank.
President Obama went on Jon Stewart's show on Comedy Central Wednesday to urge Democrats to show up Tuesday. It was groundbreaking. It was the first appearance by a president on an R-rated comedy show, if you don't count the Clinton Administration.
President Obama signed an initiative honoring Domestic Violence Awareness Month Wednesday. It's not just wife-beating. Whenever Bill Clinton used to come downstairs for his weekly press conferences with a busted lip, the reporters knew he'd had a good week.
The White House braced itself for a GOP tidal wave predicted to arrive Election Day. The voters face a clear choice. Republicans want to short-sell the recession and make a killing, the Tea Partiers wants to toss the recession into Boston Harbor along with the income tax and Democrats want to embrace the recession and give it handicapped parking.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton