Jewish World Review Oct. 22, 2010 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
President Obama will worship at a Sikh temple in India in two weeks. Sikhs must wear a turban and a dagger and an iron bracelet at all times. Getting behind one of them in line at the airport is the closest thing there is on earth to eternal life.
The Chamber of Commerce ridiculed the White House claim Friday that it funnels foreign money to GOP candidates. The president made a point he didn't intend to make. We can't allow foreign money to steal our democracy, we need it to fund our debt.
Brett Favre refused comment Wednesday on the NFL probe into his conduct towards a Jets cheerleader. He preferred to talk about his recovered arm strength. Two weeks ago his arm hurt so much he could barely lift his camera phone over his abdomen.
The Mexican army burned a hundred and five tons of marijuana seized in Tijuana Wednesday. It caused a spectacular blaze. The smoke drifted into the hills above Tijuana and the next day coyotes were chasing ice cream trucks down Revolution Avenue.
President Obama's motorcade entry into Portland was tragically marred Thursday when a motorcyclist crashed into stopped traffic. He later died. President Obama could become the third guy this week fined by the NFL for a vicious hit to the helmet.
Chicago was named the most dangerous city in America Wednesday in a nationwide survey of robbery, murder and assault rates. The numbers keep piling up. At last count fifty million Chicagoans have died waiting for the Cubs to win the World Series.
Paris rioted after France's government raised the retirement age from sixty to sixty-two. It's a public safety issue. The French drink wine from the time they are toddlers and by the time they're sixty they're in no shape to operate heavy machinery.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton