Jewish World Review Oct. 22, 2010 / 14 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The New York Yankees battle the Texas Rangers for the American League pennant tonight. The Yankees are listed by Forbes magazine as the best-paid team in sports. They're followed closely by the Lakers, the Mavericks, and the women the NFL pays to stay quiet.
Chile's delegation to the United Nations sent a message thanking the world for its support rescuing the miners last week. It provoked some. Chile's president specifically thanked Jesus, Great Britain and U.S. private enterprise--the entire anti-Obama coalition.
Oklahoma floated a state constitutional ban on any use of Islamic law in Oklahoma courts this week. Islamic law cuts off your hand for stealing. That means a lot of football recruits would still be in Texas, or a lot of coaches would be holding the clipboard with their teeth.
Russia gave its top medals to ten spies for spying on America Monday. They were arrested in the U.S. last year, then the U.S. traded the ten Russian spies for four U.S. spies held in Russia. So you see, we can't even execute a spy swap without running up a sixty percent deficit.
Homeland Security sought authority last week to monitor all wireless communications in the U.S. The agency wants to read every e-mail, BlackBerry message and Facebook posting. Homeland Security is asking every guy's girlfriend to train them how to do it.
President Obama went on a four-day campaign tour of Oregon, Washington State and California Wednesday. He's without the Democratic Party's biggest star up there. Al Gore can no longer campaign in the Pacific Northwest because the restraining order says three states.
The U.S. military followed federal court orders Wednesday and began allowing the enlistment of openly gay recruits in the Army. This could help us finally win the war in Afghanistan. If there's one thing Muslim terrorists can't withstand, it's musical comedy.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton