Jewish World Review Oct. 21, 2010 / 13 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
New York's governor debate Monday forced Democrats and Republicans to include five minor party candidates, featuring a hooker madam and at least two socialists. However, serious New Yorkers face only two choices. Do they move to Texas or Florida?
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill Tuesday requiring California businesses to show they don't support slavery. Why now? This may be the wrong time to force Californians to choose between their consciences and three T-shirts for eighteen dollars.
The Discovery Channel welcomed President Obama to a taping of Mythbusters Monday. The show tests popular science myths to see if they're true. President Obama wants to know whether the unemployment rate is still Bush's fault or if corporations are refusing to hire because he's black.
The New York Times magazine ran a profile piece on President Obama Sunday which dissected his personality. It says he's grimly serious about what he sees as his historic mission. President Obama can't laugh at himself because that would be racist.
President Obama defended health care reform in his Ohio speech Sunday. He's adjusting to conditions. His big applause line used to be that health care should be universal in a country as rich as America, and then about a year ago it started getting big laughs.
Somali pirate Abduwali Muse is on trial in New York after being captured at sea by the U.S. Navy last year. He'll be tough to convict. His jury consultant will have no trouble finding twelve people who have downloaded songs and movies illegally.
Alaskan GOP Senate candidate Joe Miller suggested Monday that the U.S. copy East Germany in building a wall with Mexico to keep out illegal aliens. Technology has a better solution. All we need is an electronic message board that flashes the unemployment rate on our side of the fence and we can save everybody a needless errand.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton