Jewish World Review Oct. 19, 2010 / 11 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Philadelphian Juan Rodriguez was refused the million dollars offered by a website mogul for streaking through an Obama rally last Sunday. It's because Obama never saw the guy. It'd be gay to look at a naked man when you've got two perfectly beautiful Teleprompters right there in front of you.
Senator Harry Reid told his TV debate crowd in Nevada Thursday that his mother took in laundry from a local brothel to make ends meet. It weirded everybody out. Now he's having to explain that Mormons don't procreate by making their ends meet.
The Gallup Poll out Friday says the Democrats risk losing Congress in November in a rout. It looks bleak for them. Democrats in Congress have just two weeks before they have to live on one teaspoon of tuna every other day and the prayers of the Chilean people.
Chilean miners thanked U.S. drilling firms and NASA for the sophisticated equipment they supplied to rescue them last week. It took twelve hours to pull all thirty-three miners up through the narrow opening. Only the Octomom knew what the earth was going through.
Realty Check reported Thursday that one hundred thousand homes were foreclosed by banks in September across the United States. Home evictions are epidemic in the Southern California suburbs. In the San Fernando Valley the ice cream truck plays Taps.
The National Organization for Women said it's okay for Jerry Brown's people to call Meg Whitman a whore. It signals that feminism only protects liberal women. Ann Taylor just created a new line of electrified bras and skirts to protect Republican women from office gropers.
The Green Party was sabotaged by Chicago's political machine Friday when their governor candidate's last name Whitney was misspelled as Whitey on ballots sent to black voting districts. It'll be watched closely. President Obama will see it as a sign not to bother running for re-election if Whitey carries Southside Chicago in two weeks.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2009, Argus Hamilton